Matthew Dempsey Says It’s Ok To Be ‘Needy’

Matthew Dempsey (image via Instagram)
In his latest YouTube video, psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey explores not only why but how we should speak up to make sure our needs are met. It makes sense that we should always ask for what it is that we want, but many of us often don’t. Maybe we were ‘the best little kid in the world’ and taught ourselves to not make waves in order to be loved? Or perhaps we learned to be a rebel at a young age and now we don’t take any shit? According to Dempsey, both perspectives can “stem from our own underlying fear that we’re really not worth caring about.” Recounting a recent chapter in his life where he stood firm on what it was he wanted in terms of dating, Dempsey makes the case that it’s ok to tell people what it is we need. As Dempsey puts it, if friends or lovers can’t give or respect what it is we need from them, then maybe we need to love those folks “from a distance.” “We have to forgive the people who aren’t able to meet our needs, and we have to invest like hell into those who can,” advises Dempsey. Dempsey addresses the issue much better than I can, so hit the play button below. And you can click these links to check Dempsey’s thoughts on body positivity, fear of losing sexual freedom, ‘pretty privilege,’ and what makes a gay ‘daddy.’

Senate Set To Pass Resolution Limiting Trump’s War Powers

Donald Trump

Politico is reporting the U.S. Senate appears ready to approve a bipartisan resolution that would “limit President Donald Trump’s authority to launch military operations against Iran weeks after the U.S. killed a top Iranian general.”

The War Powers resolution, introduced by Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.), came to the floor Wednesday with a final expected vote Thursday.

While the measure is not likely to garner enough support to overturn a likely Trump veto, its expected passage in the Senate nevertheless illustrates a rare congressional effort to rein in the president’s executive authority.

In addition to all 47 Democrats, the measure so far has support from Republican Sens. Susan Collins of Maine, Todd Young of Indiana, Mike Lee of Utah, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Jerry Moran of Kansas.

The Democratic senators running for president are expected to be in Washington for the vote on Thursday, ensuring that the 51-vote threshold for the War Powers resolution will be met.

Predictably, the Donald is not happy.

Missouri Cop Told To ‘Tone Down Gayness’ Agrees To $10M Settlement

Lt. Keith Wildhaber of the St. Louis County Police Department, who was awarded a $20 million judgment in a sexual orientation discrimination lawsuit last October, has agreed to a $10.25 million settlement. It’s believed the county planned on appealing the ruling, and so Wildhaber came to this agreement to avoid a protracted appeals process. You may recall Wildhaber, who is openly gay, sued St. Louis County after being passed over for promotion 23 times. Wildhaber said he was being discriminated against due to his sexual orientation. In the lawsuit, Wildhaber alleged a member of the St. Louis County Board of Police Commissioners told him that if he wanted to get promoted, “you should tone down your gayness.” More from ABC News:

According to the settlement papers filed Tuesday morning in a St. Louis County court, Wildhaber is to receive a little more than $6.4 million and his attorneys will get about $3.8 million.

Prior to going to trial last year, Wildhaber and his lawyers offered to settle the case for $850,000 plus an immediate promotion of Wildhaber to lieutenant, according to a timeline of the case released by Page’s office. Steve Stenger, the previous St. Louis County Executive, ignored the offer, according to the timeline.

Stenger was later indicted on federal charges in a pay-for-play scandal. He pleaded guilty in August to charges of bribery, mail fraud and depriving citizens of honest services of a public official and sentenced to 46 months in prison.

Following the October jury verdict in Wildhaber’s case, Belmar promoted Wildhaber from sergeant to lieutenant. Belmar also created the police department’s Diversity and Inclusion Unit and put Wildhaber in charge of it, Page said.

Just hours before the settlement was made public, St. Louis County Police Chief Jon Belmar announced he will retire in April. St. Louis County Executive Sam Page said the retirement had nothing to do with the settlement. Sure, Jan…

Video: Sassy Firefighters Shade Anti-LGBTQ Twitter Trolls

When firefighters in the UK added a Pride flag to its Twitter profile last year, the first responders received several ugly, homophobic comments. In response, the South Yorkshire firefighters have clapped back with a cheeky video reciting many of the actual hate tweets they received while rainbow flags, socks, and hats are surreptitiously included in the background. A hunky fireman recites in a droll tone, “I don’t see or understand why you feel the need to celebrate,” as Pride flags wave and confetti rains down. Another fire official tells the camera, “Constantly going on and on about who wants to shag who shouldn’t be a fire service priority,” while an eggplant emoji floats on a TV screen in the background. In between the mini-scenes, the firefighters make their point with the statement:

LGBT+ people still face prejudice at home and at work. We celebrate LGBT+ pride in solidarity with all those we serve and employ. Fires don’t discriminate, neither do we.

In a statement on the South Yorkshire Fire & Rescue website, Chief Fire Officer Alex Johnson wrote, “We fully expect the video will have a mixed reaction but some of the comments we received last year were awful and totally unacceptable.” Johnson explained the heroes had a couple of reasons for producing the video. “Firstly we wanted to support the month and let our staff, and communities, know that we are proud to employ and serve them, regardless of those comments,” said Johnson. “Secondly, we wanted to demonstrate that we are a genuinely inclusive organisation that values the contribution of all our staff, whatever their LGBT+ status.” Crew Manager Rebecca Savin, who acts as the South Yorkshire Fire Brigades Union LGBT rep said she was “really pleased with the video.” “It’s great that, as an employer, SYFR wants to challenge these comments and stand up for its staff and the people it serves.” Check out the deliciously defiant video below. ≤center>

News Round-Up: February 11, 2020

Some news items you might have missed: • Tuesday Tutorial: Beefy Steve Raider (above) gives a lesson in fixing your socks. #SocksWhatSocks? Follow Steve on Instagram here. • Mercury News: Fred Joseph Costanza, who viciously beat a homeless transgender woman for using the women’s restroom at an Oregon park fracturing her jaw and skull in several places, was found guilty of a hate crime and sentenced to six years in prison. He has also been ordered to pay the victim restitution for his attack. • TikTok: Texas transgender teen Andi Bernabe was surprised on his 18th birthday by his high school classmates who raised the funds ($300) for him to legally change his name. His reaction to the gift has gone viral with millions of views.

@fluffiestboyI don’t deserve friends as good as mine🥺🥰 #birthday #trans #ftm #legaladult♬ original sound – fluffiestboy

• Virginia Mercury: Democrats walked off the floor of the House of Delegates Tuesday morning as the pastor invited to give the opening prayer delivered stinging remarks condemning abortion and gay marriage. A man who accompanied the pastor asked reporters if they were aware “sodomy” was once considered an offense worthy of capital punishment. • Out: Though previous research had already shown considerably higher rates of suicidality among queer and trans young people, the latest data from the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBS) revealed that LGB youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide compared to straight peers. What can you do? Research shows knowing just ONE accepting adult #WorkToDo • The Guardian: Robyn Peoples, 26, and Sharni Edwards, 27, made history at a ceremony in a hotel in Carrickfergus, County Antrim, on Tuesday afternoon becoming the first same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland. The day also marked their sixth anniversary as a couple.

Jussie Smollett Indicted On New Charges Over Alleged Hoax Attack

One of the 'attackers' in the Jussie Smollett mess told a court room today he thought Smollett could help his "acting career"

Jussie Smollett (screen capture via ABC News)
Former Empire star Jussie Smollett has been indicted (again) on charges relating to an alleged racist and homophobic attack he reported to the police in January 2019. According to FOX 32 News, Smollett has been indicted by special prosecutor Dan Webb on six charges. To refresh your memory, here’s a timeline of the ongoing twisted tale: January 22, 2019 – Smollett told police he received a threatening letter at the studios where Empire filmed. January 29, 2019 – Smollett reports the alleged racist/homophobic attack claiming it happened near his Chicago apartment. January 30, 2019 – Police release a photo of two ‘persons of interest’ in the incident. February 14, 2019 – The two ‘persons of interest’ were arrested at O’Hare Airport as they returned from a trip to Nigeria. February 16, 2019 – Identified as brothers Ola and Abel Osundairo, the arrested men say they are ‘eager’ to speak to Smollett.
Abel and Ola Osundairo (image via the Osundairo’s since-deleted Instagram account)
February 17, 2019 – The brothers tell the police Smollett paid them to stage the ‘attack.’ They say Smollett felt the threatening letter he’d received didn’t get enough attention. February 21, 2019 – Smollett turned himself in to the authorities facing 16 counts of felony disorderly conduct for lying to police about the alleged attack. March 14, 2019 – Smollett appears in court and pleads ‘not guilty.’ March 26, 2019 – All charges against Smollett were abruptly dropped. At the time, a spokesman for the Cook County prosecutor’s office said the decision to dismiss charges came “after reviewing all of the facts and circumstances of the case.” Additionally, Smollett agreed to let the city retain his $10,000 bail. April 24, 2019 – Osundairo brothers file a defamation lawsuit against Smollett’s lawyers. June 21, 2019 – Webb was appointed as a special prosecutor to investigate the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office’s decision to drop all charges. A few weeks later, Smollett tried to have the appointment overturned. To date, Smollett has maintained his innocence telling reporters at the time, “I would not be my mother’s son if I was capable of one drop of what I was being accused of.”
Jussie Smollett (mugshot)
Stay tuned as this story continues to develop. (source: Fox News 32)

Following Trump Meltdown DOJ Will Reduce Roger Stone Prison Sentence Recommendation

Roger Stone (screen capture)
A senior Justice Department official tells the Washington Post the DOJ now plans to reduce its sentencing recommendation for Roger Stone, who was convicted in November of obstructing Congress and witness tampering in the Robert Mueller investigation. The announcement comes after Donald Trump ranted on Twitter about the requested seven-to-nine year recommendation.

In a stunning rebuke of career prosecutors that will surely raise questions about political interference in the case, a senior Justice Department official said the department “was shocked to see the sentencing recommendation in the Roger Stone case last night.”

“That recommendation is not what had been briefed to the department,” the official said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to discuss a sensitive case. “The department finds the recommendation extreme and excessive and disproportionate to Stone’s offenses. The department will clarify its position later today.”

The statement came hours after Trump tweeted about the sentence prosecutors recommended, saying: “This is a horrible and very unfair situation. The real crimes were on the other side, as nothing happens to them. Cannot allow this miscarriage of justice!” The senior Justice Department official, though, said the decision to revise prosecutors’ recommendation came before Trump’s tweet.

Let’s face it, folks. Trump is going to pardon Stone AND Michael Flynn. No matter what, no matter what prison sentence they get, he will pardon them. Mark my words.

Neo-Nazi Pleads Guilty To Planning To Bomb Las Vegas Gay Bar

Conor Climo (screen capture)
A Las Vegas man pleaded guilty Monday to a federal weapons charge after plotting violent attacks on an LGBTQ bar, a synagogue, and the Anti-Defamation League. Conor Climo, 24, signed the plea agreement that was filed in January in U.S. District Court in Las Vegas. The Las Vegas Review-Journal reports the agreement reads, in part, “Defendant stated that he wanted to do more against the groups he hated by carrying out violent attacks against them.” “Defendant admitted to discussing plans for violent attacks online against the Anti-Defamation League, a local Las Vegas synagogue, and a local bar,” continued the document. In the agreement, Climo admitted the unnamed bar catered to an LGBTQ clientele. Climo was arrested in August last year after being monitored communicating via encrypted internet chat with individuals identified as white supremacists. He reportedly told an undercover FBI informant he was “scouting places to attack.” In his communications with the undercover agent, Climo sent a satellite image of the synagogue he planned to target which highlighted a possible escape route. Climo also used homophobic language and spoke about surveilling an LGBTQ bar in downtown Vegas in the encrypted chats. When the investigators arrived at Climo’s home with a search warrant, they found “hand-drawn schematics and component parts of a destructive device” which included oxidizing agents, flammable liquids and circuit boards. An AR-15 assault-style weapon and a bolt-action rifle were also confiscated during the search, according to NBC LA. He was charged with possessing an unregistered firearm in the form of the component parts of a destructive device. A statement from the U.S. attorney’s office said, “Climo would regularly use derogatory racial, anti-Semitic and homosexual slurs.” Appearing in court wearing a yellow jail jumpsuit on Monday, the Review-Journal writes, “Climo stood with closed fists at a podium, mostly answering ‘yes, your honor’ and ‘no, your honor,’ to a series of standard questions.” As I reported in August, Climo made headlines in 2016 for ‘patrolling’ his neighborhood wearing battle gear and carrying an assault-style rifle and survival knife. At the time, he told local ABC News affiliate KTNV, “I’ll pretty much stay within constitutional bounds when I’m doing this.” ‘Pretty much stay within constitutional bounds???’ He also told the reporter he would be looking for ‘suspicious activity,’ which he defined as “people outside when they’re not supposed to be.” In the interview, Climo admitted he had no formal training in patrolling, policing, or dealing with possibly tense situations. CNN reports Climo will return to court on May 14 where he faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. According to the plea deal, he will also be required to undergo mental health treatment and be monitored via an electronic device upon his release from prison. Climo’s story is especially chilling as Las Vegas was the site of the nation’s deadliest mass shooting in modern US history, when 58 people were killed and more than 500 hurt in October 2017. Here’s the 2016 report from KTNV:

News Round-Up: February 10, 2020

Some news items you might have missed: • InstaHunks: Hunky Dan Tai (above) starts the week looking forward – “Everything the light touches is our kingdom.” Follow Dan on Instagram here. • CBS News: Pete Buttigieg (who was named the victor of the Iowa caucuses by a squeak) is asking for a partial recanvass for 66 precincts as well as a recanvass of all in-state satellite caucus locations. The former South Bend mayor said he believes the discrepancies identified by his campaign would result in a net increase of 14 state delegate equivalents if corrected. • Oscars 2020: I loved Janelle Monáe’s opening number for the Academy Awards. Beginning with the theme from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and then moving into a robust celebration of “all the amazing talent in this room,” the 34-year-old told the audience, “I’m so proud to stand here as a black, queer artist, telling stories.” The dancers were on point, the visuals creative, and when Billy Porter joined the number to knock out some “I’m Still Standing,” it all went over the top. #Bravo

• Washington Post: Federal prosecutors on Monday said longtime Trump confidant Roger Stone deserves a sentence of 7 to 9 years in prison for lying to Congress and tampering with a witness related to his efforts to learn about hacked Democratic emails during the 2016 U.S. presidential election. • Virginia: The Virginia state House on Monday passed HB 972, which would decriminalize marijuana, by a vote of 64-34. The state Senate is expected to pass its own version shortly. Gov. Ralph Northam has signaled his support for the measure. • Out: Netflix announced today that the popular series Sex Education will, indeed, return for a third season. • USA Today: For the first time in the 2020 Democratic primary, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders took the lead in a national Quinnipiac University poll, overtaking former Vice President Joe Biden, just after the Iowa caucuses and one day ahead of Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary. Sanders received 25% support among Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents, with Biden at 17%.

Funny: Porn Star Reads Red Carpet Fashions For Filth

Antonio Biaggi (via Instagram)
Pop culture fashionistas are spending their Monday recapping the style show that was the Oscars’ red carpet. Most of the ‘experts’ try to be upbeat but often deliver a few zingers about this dress or that suit, which, let’s face it, can be funny. But someone sent me a link to some social media posts by porn star Antonio Biaggi, and I can tell you, this ain’t your mama’s fashion round-up. In a video posted to Instagram and Twitter, Biaggi goes on an f-bomb filled rant about the fashion parade and he definitely doesn’t hold back. Note – definitely NSFW language here. https://www.instagram.com/p/B8XZ3y0n5dt/ “Ok, I haven’t seen the Oscars in years, like ten years, almost since Joan Rivers – I miss Joan Rivers,” begins Biaggi before adding, “What the f*ck happened to Joan Rivers?” Folks were all over the spectrum regarding the Joan Rivers comment with some posting their astonishment (“I have second-hand embarrassment watching this”) to agreeing with Biaggi (“That was everything, thank you”). When a follower pointed out Rivers passed away, he shifted a bit saying, “We need to get her back from hell.” https://www.instagram.com/p/B8ZlJYDB3O1/ Continuing with the rant, he calls out E! Entertainment by name, incredulous that “they think that all the dresses are beautiful! They’re not beautiful – they’re ugly as f*ck!” Biaggi then goes after two attendees in particular. “Look at Billy Porter – what is that? It looks like he got his shower curtain and he went off to the Oscars,” declares the porn star. “I understand the whole ‘gender-fluidity’ but come on, give me a break,” he adds. But wait – there’s more! “And then some b*tch called ‘Billie Eilish?’ Who the f*ck is she?” Saying he’d never heard of the ‘Bad Guy’ singer, Biaggi describes Eilish’s choice of fashion as “homeless in Chanel.” But – to his credit – with his rant comes a rave. https://twitter.com/XxxBiaggi/status/1226642975213727746 “You have to dress like Regina King – that’s a beautiful, elegant woman,” announces the 41-year-old. “When you go to a red carpet, dress up nicely, mother-f*ck*rs!” I have to admit I do agree with some of what Biaggi has to say here because King did serve up supreme deliciousness in an asymmetrical, beaded Versace gown. And I do scratch my head a bit at some of what I see on the red carpet, but I’m clearly no fashionista on the level of Biaggi. In subsequent posts, he called out Sandra Oh for looking like a feather duster; Timothée Chalamet was deemed a ‘serial killer;’  and Blacc Chyna scored ‘piñata’ status. But Charlize Theron and Zazie Beetz got deservedly high marks from the adult performer. He eventually posted his Best and Worst Dressed choices in subsequent tweets. https://www.instagram.com/p/B8ZaDPYhOVp/ https://www.instagram.com/p/B8ZZivaBI_F/ Everyone gets to have their opinion, folks, and we celebrate that. In a follow-up post on Instagram, Biaggi claimed that right and added, “if you don’t like it, don’t follow me.” https://www.instagram.com/p/B8X6MzMgail/