Tag: funny

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New From Michael Henry: The Gay Bottom Mafia Can Find You

Clint Keller in 'Wow, You Have a Beard!'
Clint Keller in ‘Wow, You Have a Beard!’

Comedian Michael Henry loves to hold up his magic mirror to the gay community to show us how ridiculous we can sometimes be.

In his new video short, “Wow, You Have a Beard,” Henry bumps into his buddy Daniel (played by Clint Keller) and is immediately aware that Daniel is somehow ‘different.’

Could it be the new wardrobe? (No.)

Maybe the new Pilates workout routine? (No.)

Perhaps it’s the peace Daniel’s found from meditating? (No.)

Henry zeroes in on the issue: Daniel’s new manly facial hair.

Henry immediately feels betrayed saying, “I thought you were one of us – I thought you were femme!”

Clutching his pearls, Daniel assures Henry he’s still a member of the bottom bunk club.

But it’s too late.

As Henry points out, “They’ve already found you – the gay bottom mafia!” Cut to a shot scanning the park with several gay men (“the hungry, hungry bottoms”) in beckoning positions.

“They can smell your exhuming testosterone now,” says Henry.

Even though Daniel doesn’t think he’s that “masc,” Henry quickly runs down the checklist: hairy chest, deep voice and an ability to curse like a sailor.

Check, check and check!

Worse yet, the ‘TopFinder’ app has found Daniel (“Top located – has beard!”).

Be that as it may, Daniel is flummoxed by his situation.

“What am I to do?,” asks Daniel. “I can’t top all of these men, I have errands to run.”

While Daniel is amazed a beard could hold so much virile power, Henry explains, “It’s your entire sexual persona now – you’re straight-passing.”

How could this be? Daniel is a proud bottom, a Bravo TV watcher, and a ballet instructor.

Finally, though, Daniel does find the one way to defuse his new macho status.

Hit the play button to find out how Daniel gets out of this hirsute headache.

Henry does raise a good question about how gay men label and identify based on choices like dress and grooming.

Do beards really make us more appealing? And do gay men assume fur automatically makes us more ‘masculine?’

You can find more of my coverage of funnyman Michael Henry here.

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Brain Break: Adam Rippon Riffs On The Return Of Pumpkin Spice

Ah, October.

When most of the U.S. finally falls into autumn and a whole bunch of folks do a happy dance for all things pumpkin spice.

In fact, the venerable Pumpkin Spice Latte is already back in residency at Starbucks marking the 15th consecutive year of the concoction, which the coffee giant says is its most popular seasonal beverage.

With that in mind, Cosmopolitan asked Olympic bronze medalist Adam Rippon to sample several different pumpkin spice products as part of their ongoing “Adam Rippon Riffs On” series.

Of course, you have to begin with the aforementioned PSL from Starbucks, which Rippon awards a healthy “4 pumpkins.”

Next up, pumpkin spiced Kahlua which clearly takes awesome Adam by surprise. “Shut the video down, this is f**king amazing,” raves Rippon.

He then pours the liquer into the latte, and bam! We have a 5-pumpkin winner!

Rippon moves on to food next tasting a pumpkin spice bagel with pumpkin spice cream cheese. Who wants to guess how that works out?

Annnnd, back to the Kahlua latte.

Pumpkin spice Frosted Flakes with pumpkin spice almond beverage? #seriously?

The cereal acquits itself well, but the almond beverage is apparently some serious version of nasty.

In fact, there’s only one way to salvage this breakfast. Want to take a guess?

Take a four minute brain break and watch our favorite self-declared “America’s sweetheart” take on pumpkin spice below.

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The Late Show: Kim Jong Un Responds To Trump Using The L-Word

Over the weekend at a rally in West Virginia, Donald Trump told his followers that not only do he and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un have a great relationship, they “fell in love.”

However, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert seems to have found proof that the North Korean dictator isn’t exactly on the same page as the Trumpster.

Donny – he’s just not that into you.

Watch below.

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‘Summer Penis’ Is A Real Thing

(photo credit: Charles Deluvio)

Folks on the internet are excited about the latest Twitter topic: summer penis.

Apparently summer penis is a real ‘thing’ – and folks love ‘things.’

‘Summer penis’ is the concept that men’s junk gets bigger during the warmer, summer months because everything swells when it’s hot.

MEL Magazine wrote about this last month, and social media definitely had some fun with the idea.

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Henry Cavill Enjoys Getting Called ‘Daddy’ On The Internet

Henry Cavill

Superman star Henry Cavill gave Buzzfeed some time to read ‘thirsty’ tweets about him, including one cheeky tweet about his ‘super’ manhood.

The hunky actor read a tweet that says: ‘Henry Cavill definitely exudes big dick energy and to make it even better I’m 99% sure he’s actually big, I’m weak just thinking about it.’

‘Thank you,’ he replies. After a pause, he adds, ‘Why the 1%?, I ask?

He then smiles and says: ‘And furthermore, no comment.’

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. star also gets asked is also asked: ‘Do you get called daddy a lot?’

Cavill reads a few more internet missives, including:

‘I would let Henry Cavill split me in half I’m just gonna say it’

‘Henry Cavill could leave me on read at 4:30, text back at 8:47 and I’d reply at 8:46.’

Watch the cute video below.

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Funny: “HBO Should Show More Dongs”

Have you ever noticed the amount of female nudity on HBO? Why not some “full frontal” from the male characters?

A few years ago, the ladies of College Humor called out HBO demanding equal time for their viewing pleasure asking for more ‘Full Monty’ from men on the premium channel.

Even today, they have a point, don’t they?

“We’re not saying ‘no more boobs,” say the girls. “We just think you should show dong.”

“I want a little ‘Dude Tube’ on my ‘Boob Tube,'” says another.

They even point out the easy opportunities the channel blew. “You had a show called Hung about a guy with a big d*ck – and we never got to see it??”

“Game of Thrones? We were promised a ‘storm of swords.'”

The ladies even have suggestions – like two guys showing naked peen comparing sizes.

“Ooh, and it’s a tie, so then they have to wrestle naked and there’s some cross-dong action.”

I think these ladies have a point here. And to be fair, they come with a compromise: “For every minute we have to sit through this dumb double standard, you owe us an inch of Grade A man meat.”

Nothing’s really changed has it?

It’s time to level the playing field, HBO. What do you say?

Watch the video below.

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Funny: Stephen Colbert Recaps The Wild & Wacky Arizona GOP Primary

Taking a look at the upcoming mid-term elections, Stephen Colbert offers his recap of the wild and wooly Republican primary happening down Arizona way.

“It’s a classic Arizona match between “Chemtrail lady,” “Revenge porn guy” and “Sheriff Convict” in what I’m calling, “Showdown at the ‘This is not OK’ Corral.”

Watch below.

(tip by TheOUTfront)

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Funny: “It TWIRLED Up!”

Shirley MacLaine in “Postcards from the Edge”

Thanks to Matt Rettenmund of Boy Culture, who knows all things Madonna, for finding the intersectionality of a recent social media post by Madge and one of my favoritest moments in movie history.

Inspired by this tweet earlier this week following the Met Gala:

Rettenmund recalled another famous “twirling…”

Literally one of my favorite moments ever from a film – from Postcards from the Edge between Oscar winners Meryl Streep and Shirley MacLaine – “It TWIRLED up!”