Out NFL-er Michael Sam talking to GQ Magazine’s Andrew Corsello:
“If I had it my way, I never would have done it the way I did, never would have told it the way I did,” Michael Sam tells GQ’s Andrew Corsello of his decision to come out prior to the NFL draft.
“But the recruiters knew, and reporters knew, and they talked to each other, and it got out. If I didn’t have the year I did, nobody would have cared.
“But I have no regrets. Some people can argue that I had the potential to go higher in the draft. But I think everything happens for a reason.
“It looks good to see me in the position I’m in now, because I can show the world how good I am and rise up the ranks. I’m at the bottom now. I can rise up, show I’m a football player. Not anything else. Just a football player.”
And on the heels of Ty Herndon’s coming out comes country singer Billy Gilman, who at the age of 12 became the youngest artist to have a Top 40 hit with “One Voice.”
Gilman says he had been thinking on making this video for a while, but Herndon’s coming out today makes it that much easier.
Gilman also mentions that, due to “whispers” in Nashville, he was aware that no major label showed any interest in his new music despite a showcase he performed there recently. He attributes the lack of interest to his rumored sexuality.
“You know, it’s difficult for me to make this video not because I’m ashamed of being a gay male artist or a gay artist or a gay person. But it’s pretty silly to know that I’m ashamed of doing this knowing that because I’m in an genre and industry that is ashamed of me for being me.
“That said, I want to say that all of the country artists that literally I grew up with – Keith Urban, Vince, Lee Ann Rimes and all of these wonderful friends of mine have been nothing but supportive. Not that they knew but they’ve just been such wonderful people.”
Gilman shares that he’s been with his current partner for five months.
“My mother probably knew I was gay before I did. I remember sitting down with her and having the conversation,” recalls Herndon, noting his career path in country worried her. But, ultimately, “she was more concerned about me having a happy life. You have to be able to do that in your own skin, and [my family] has seen me struggle with being gay my whole career.”
While his professional start was promising (he was earning steady airplay with hit singles including “What Mattered Most,” “Living in a Moment” and “It Must Be Love”), the singer hit some snags along the way – including an indecent exposure charge for allegedly exposing himself to a police officer in 1995 (the charge was later dropped in a plea bargain) and subsequent time in rehab for drug addiction.
“I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. They’ve been my mistakes, and I own them,” says Herndon. “I’ve done a lot of work around forgiveness with people that I’ve hurt and people I’ve not been honest with because of my sexuality.”
I remember the “exposure charge” from 1995. It happened in my hometown of Fort Worth, Texas.
Since then I’ve actually met the man who was Herndon’s boyfriend at the time. In an effort to save Herndon’s career, the bf told me he was shoved out the door and Herndon’s team wouldn’t allow him contact. Sad chapter for many I’m sure.
Because of that, I’m a bit conflicted on hearing this news today. While I’m happy for Herndon that he’s reconciled his sexuality with himself, I’m aware of what he means when he says “I’ve done a lot of work around forgiveness with people I’ve hurt.” But I’m reminded how staying in the closet – especially for public/professional concerns – injures so deeply.
Herndon admits he married not once but twice to women who knew he was gay. And says the biggest lie he’s ever told himself is “that I couldn’t be gay in country music.”
Open and honest is the way to live. Although, I do wish it had come sooner for Herndon.
Gareth Thomas, legendary rugby player who came out in 2009, has written a new autobiography, Proud.
Appearing on the Jonathan Ross Show, Thomas talked on his career and previous struggles with his sexuality.
‘I have won every trophy that I can ever dream of winning but when you affect somebody’s life, in a way that this person is going to have a life that they never thought they could have because of me, stupid old me, because of that they could do that, it’s amazing.
‘I didn’t come out because I wanted to be the first person to do it and I was going to be a trailblazer, I came out because I came to a crossroads of living or dying and that’s why I decided to come out, I wanted to live.’
Asked if marriage were in the near future for him and his partner, Ian Baum, Thomas replied:
‘We’ve known each other for two years and we’ve been living together for a year and I am very much in love with Ian, I’m extremely happy and I’m sure one day down the line [we might get married], we’re settling in but I definitely wouldn’t write it off because I really feel I’ve found my soulmate and the person I can spend the rest of my life with, I really do.’
During an interview with CNBC, Cruz was asked about the Bloomberg Businessweek story in which Cook addressed his sexual orientation publicly for the first time.
“Those are his personal choices. I’ll tell you, I love my iPhone,” Cruz said according to The Hill. He added, “Listen, Tim Cook makes his personal decisions, and that is his life. My focus is on the constitutional question of who has the authority to make decisions.”
It’s worth noting that Sen. Cruz is the coauthor of the State Marriage Defense Act, which would stop the federal government from invalidating state laws on marriage.
Apple CEO Tim Cook has publicly come out in an essay he penned for Business Week:
“While I have never denied my sexuality, I haven’t publicly acknowledged it either, until now. So let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.
“Being gay has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to be in the minority and provided a window into the challenges that people in other minority groups deal with every day.
“It’s made me more empathetic, which has led to a richer life.
“It’s been tough and uncomfortable at times, but it has given me the confidence to be myself, to follow my own path, and to rise above adversity and bigotry.
“It’s also given me the skin of a rhinoceros, which comes in handy when you’re the CEO of Apple.”
“I don’t consider myself an activist, but I realize how much I’ve benefited from the sacrifice of others. So if hearing that the CEO of Apple is gay can help someone struggling to come to terms with who he or she is, or bring comfort to anyone who feels alone, or inspire people to insist on their equality, then it’s worth the trade-off with my own privacy.”
In coming out, Tim Cook becomes the first openly gay CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
What if coming out “smart” was the same as coming out as gay today? Filmmakers Dawn Cobalt and Andrew Bryan Smith present this short film satire:
In our short film “Out Smart,” a teenage boy faces his parents’ shock and outrage when he “comes out.” He’s not gay, though. He’s smart!
We made the film as a tool to talk about coming out. “Out Smart” satirizes the most common objections made to those who come out LGBT.
We hope this unusual context makes these remarks seem as ridiculous and hurtful as they are.
We also hope the not-yet-out LGBT person might feel emboldened by that — and certainly less alone.
Nearly 50 chapters of PFLAG nationwide have screened “Out Smart,” from Little Rock, Arkansas, to Kauai, Hawaii, and Juneau, Alaska. Schools and churches, too. It’s won 6 awards and 8 nominations and appeared in two dozen film festivals around the world.
Meet Luke and Adam Monastero – 21 year old Canadian twins who share their experience of coming out to their parents in this secretly recorded video.
The twins have an idea that the parents suspect Luke is gay, but will probably be surprised to learn Adam is too.
As coming out stories go, this is one of the good ones. The mother takes the news very well, and the dad – well, he barely looks up from his lunch. No drama here.
Luke explained he was afraid their sexual orientation would drive a wedge within their extended family, to which mama bear responded, “Well, you know what, Luke? If it does, hon, that’s their choice. It cannot be your worry or your burden. You can’t live your life for someone else…I’m just so glad you’re not keeping it from us anymore.”
Dad seemed cool with the news, too, just sitting there and enjoying his chicken.
“We’re officially out of the closet! I’m a free man! I feel alive,” they tell the camera at the end.
“I feel like my parents’ reactions were completely better than any of us thought they were going to be, and hopefully this will show you guys that people don’t really care and your parents will love you no matter what,” Luke says. “That’s kind of why we’re making these videos—to just show people that are gay in the closet you know you can just be who you are and not to be afraid,” Adam adds.
Twenty year-old James Alexander, a student at the University of Houston, has shared his coming out story in a moving and compelling essay for LGBTQNation.
It’s really a must read for folks who realize the depth of our fears and concerns when figuring out how and when to come out.
James beautifully chronicles the moment he came out on Facebook to his high school friends and the support he received; and the long and painful journey he and his parents shared in accepting his sexuality.
Just an excerpt from James’ story:
My first week in community college I made several friends and kept contact with those I had made at the University as well. I went to class, talked with friends, and then I’d go home to study.
My second week of school I decided to join the LGBT alliance to meet new people who may have been in the same position as me. The club became a haven for me. I felt safe and validated there, but at home things started to get increasingly worse. My father, mother and brother-in-law made several homophobic remarks on a regular basis that ate away at my self-esteem which became apparent after several weeks.
I kept doing the same routine: school, study, sleep, repeat. Sleep became increasingly cumbersome as my mental health started to deteriorate. I started having dreams where I’d speak, but not be heard. Over many of this reoccurring dream I would speak to the crowds of people around me in an ever increasing volume and received no response.
Then, my dreams started to get violent. I remember waking up from a very graphic and brutal nightmare and then knew I had two choices: come out, or sit by while my mental health plummeted. I chose to come out.
Like James, I grew up in conservative Texas. I understand much of the mindset and opinions that are so pervasive throughout the state’s culture.
But, I was lucky to have a father who supported my dream of being an actor, let me attend the best school I could get into (even if it was across the country), and when I did finally address my sexuality – he barely blinked.
With all the progress the LGBT community has made in recent years, I think we may have made a mental leap that misses the reality that there are still difficult coming out stories. Everyone doesn’t get a hug and an ice cream cone in these huge life moments.
For some – like James – coming out is a slow, but forward process. For others, like Daniel Pierce in Georgia, whose coming out went viral when a video of the event documented verbal and physical abuse, it’s still a very emotionally raw life event.
The good news is we have strong, courageous men like James and Daniel, who had the clarity of heart to not only stand up for themselves, but share their stories. And in their stories, other young people will find strength and self-confidence.
And remember National Coming Out Day is October 11th. If you are closeted – at any age – and feel you need to talk to someone, reach out to folks who are always there, like at The Trevor Project. Or hell, email me here if you want to share.
Thanks to James – one more important journey that shows it does get better.
