The haunting new single, “The Daughter That My Mother Wanted,” from Jules Paymer featuring Miki Ratsula, explores the experience of being non-binary and queer as well as the difficulties that come with feeling like you don’t belong just for being yourself.
The music video depicts younger versions of first Paymer and then Ratsula. Then the grown-up artists take to the screen to reflect on those cathartic, raw memories.
She lives like a ghost in my childhood home
She’s setting the table while wearing my clothes
Yeah maybe I’ve lost it, she’s everywhere I go
I think I’m being haunted
By the daughter that my mother wanted
The piano-driven ballad has a loping, almost hypnotic feel – like ocean waves gently lapping at a sandy beach.
The vocals by both Paymer and Ratsula shift easily from intimate vulnerability to sweeping, unyielding ache.
“Miki and I have the unfortunate kind of privilege of understanding each other that allows a song like this to exist,” Paymer shares in a press statement.
“To meet somebody who has had such a similar experience in their gender, family, and existence is rare in the first place. To both be on this difficult journey of not only being non-binary, but also making room for ourselves in the music industry where room was never made, is an incredible thing.”
“It can be daunting and scary being an artist trying to make real change,” they added. “Being on set for the music video and hanging out with our ‘younger selves’ was kind of insane – it was hard but at the same time, very healing.”
Related: Chatting With Out Singer/Songwriter Miki Ratsula
Paymer has received widespread acclaim with their music being added to Spotify’s New Music Friday, SALT, and Young & Free playlists among others.
Follow Jules Paymer on Instagram here, and Miki Ratsula here. “The Daughter That My Mother Wanted” is available now on all major music platforms.