Category: Life

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Talking Cancer & Fitness With Dr. Phil’s Fitness/Nutrition Expert Robert Reames

Fitness & nutrition expert Robert Reames
I recently did an episode of the American LBS radio/video podcast with Dr. Phil Show head trainer and nutritionist, Robert Reames. The podcast highlights inspirational and motivational stories involving wellness sharing information from some of the best fitness folks in the industry. I’ve known Rob (an awesome source of great fitness info) since the 1990s. He asked me to chat about my cancer journey back in 2009 and how fitness & my dance background played a part in my recovery. While I’ve mentioned my bout with cancer on The Randy Report, this is probably the first time many of you might hear first hand what my little journey was like. Hit play below, and you can find out more info from and about super-smart guy Rob at his official website here.

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New Boo Sent His Nudes To A Lot Of Guys – Does It Bother You?

As the world grows bigger and bigger thanks to the internet, parts of our lives make their way out onto the interwebs. The ‘Dear Prudence’ advice column over at Slate received a question about how to handle the news that a new-ish boyfriend has shared his naked pics (and video) with what seemed like too many guys in the past. The writer (male, 22) says he’s been dating his boo (male, 24) for five months and the bf recently shared that he’d sent his naked self to over 100 guys over the past few years before the couple got serious. The bf says he’s since deleted the pics he received over the years and isn’t sharing pics anymore. But the writer still finds the news unsettling as it bothers him that “1) so many people have seen such a sensitive part of him; 2) if he sent it to that many people, odds are that there is some content of him online and still in the hands of many people; and 3) these people still follow him on social media, know who I am from his posts, and know that we are together.” Apparently, sending nude pics is a foreign dynamic for the advice seeker and doesn’t understand why his now-steady “would want to do that to so many, even when single.” Scrolling on Twitter recently, the questioner saw a nude photo on Twitter, and it somehow came up that his boyfriend had exchanged pics with that guy. Color the 22yo officially freaked out. The writer wonders how he can stay in the relationship without “being miserable and thinking about how many people his steady has sent nudes to?” ‘Prudence’ gets down to brass tacks in her response: “Before you and your boyfriend got serious, he was a single adult who enjoyed sharing photos of his body with other adults.” Prudie acknowledges that new relationships can open up “fears and insecurities” for folks but reminds the young man that no one did anything wrong. In that the number of people who have seen the boyfriend naked seems to bother the young man, Prudence asks, “What number of people that have seen him naked would have made you feel comfortable? What’s the correct number of people he should have sent nudes to?” The final words of wisdom from Prudie encourage the young gay to communicate with his bf about his fears as well as finding “a way to let go of your desire to control his past.” When I first met my husband many years ago, he shared some of his sexual history with me and it turned out he’d had much more experience than I. I remember it kind of gave me pause at the time. I wondered if I might be too ‘vanilla’ or not adventurous/experienced enough for him. This was back in the 1990s and I got over my concerns. Twenty-five years later, we’re very secure in our relationship, but I remember feeling those insecurities. Today, with all our new-fangled technology and dating apps, sharing pics among gay men seems de rigueur. What do you think, readers? Would it bother you to find out over 100 men had seen your guy naked? Or is this to be expected today? Let me know in the comment section. (image via Depositphotos)

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Daily Dog: Jenga Ninja

When I first saw this video clip of a dog playing Jenga, I thought there were freezes in the clip. But it’s actually the dog slowing her roll, being careful to just pull out the one game piece. Sorry, but I’m just amazed. Watch below.

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An Act Of Kindness & The Magic Of Movies

An act of kindness, and the magic of movies at Christmastime. This comment on the YouTube video for Josh Groban’s “Believe” from Polar Express has received over 1,000 responses:

I remember when i didnt like christmas bcuz i was a little black boy who saw everyone else with a “complete” family, but i only had my brother and my ma. They always seemed happy, while my ma seemed stressed all the time. so i kept to myself, hoping that at least someone seen that i was hurt especially on a holiday.

But no one did. I started to think that wen people say “christmas bring ppl together” was shitty at only the age of 6.

But an old white lady at school saw my hurt, and made my time at the school fun. She gave me things, taught me things, played with me (oh, is it appropriate to say its tough to literally have u and ur brother as the only blacks at that school?), and treated me with more respect than anyone at the school.

One day, she called me out of class, and to be honest i thought she was mad at me, but she took me out to see this movie (Polar Express). I was so happy, it was jus like yesterday.

Maybe bcuz i was a innocent little kid then, but i felt like she was family. I never knew someone like her would make that hate for christmas turn into pure love and respect.

I never seen her since, but Im 17 now, 11 yrs later, and one of the best christmas gifts ever is to see her again and thank her for turning that hate into straight happiness all year round. Not only for Christmas. She had a big impact on who i am today.

Idk whos reading this, but i hope the rest of your years here on earth is great. Happy holidays!

“You have everything you need, if you just believe.”

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Teen Bodybuilder Inspiring Folks To Take Charge Of Their Lives

Alex Tilinca (image via Instagram)
Alex Tilinca is a lot like other 18-year-olds in their freshman year of college. Having reached the end of his first semester as a marketing major at Hofstra University, the teen is putting all his attention on his studies for upcoming final exams. Being a good student, he’s stepped away for a short time from his favorite sport, amateur bodybuilding, where Tilinca doesn’t just compete in competitions, but he’s an award-winning transgender competitor in the sport.

Last August, Tilinca enter the Teen Classic Physique competition in the Bronx and took home the first place trophy beating out cisgender bodybuilders. “It was like the universe was telling me to keep going. Don’t stop,” Tilinca told New York Newsday. “This is what I’m meant to do with my life. It shows it’s possible to do what I want to do.” While he’s talking a breather from the sport to focus on his studies, he still has an amazing physique. In a recent Instagram post, he told his 18,000+ followers he’s letting his 5’3” body “situate” at his current weight (165 lbs)  and giving his body “a breather to really settle.”

Tilinca says he didn’t set out with the intention of becoming a bodybuilder. He started lifting after having top surgery two years ago and wanted to put on some weight. “I just wanted a little more muscle,” he told Newsday. “But I really think once you get the bug, it’s very, very hard to just stop.” “When I saw bodybuilding, I saw it as a tool of control over what you look like,” Tilinca said. “For someone being trans, that’s amazing. It’s really empowering. If you don’t like something, you know you can change it. It’s like sculpting your own body.” Newsday spoke with two-time Mr. Olympia runner-up Sadik Hadzovic, who has coached Alex, about the empowering nature of bodybuilding. “I can relate to what Alex went through,” Hadzovic told Newsday. “When I was 18 years old, I hated my body. Whether you are a man or woman or transgender or not, it doesn’t make a difference. We are all the same. We just want to improve ourselves and be a little bigger, a little faster, look a little better.” Obviously, Tilinca’s progress in the eighteen months he’s been working out has yielded incredible results. In the below post on Instagram, he weighed 130 lbs. and had 5-6% body fat.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Anyone wanna guess my waist size about 2 days out here? 🤔 . #throwback

A post shared by Alex Tilinca (@alextilinca) on

The National Physique Committee (NPC) is the largest amateur bodybuilding organization in the United States and often viewed as a stepping stone to competing at the International Federation of Bodybuilding and Fitness (IFBF) competitions. The IFBF hosts the annual competition that awards the Mr. Olympia title. Tilinca says his ultimate goal is to become the first trans man to win the biggest prize of all in the bodybuilding world, Mr. Olympia. Newsday notes that the National Physique Committee doesn’t have any specific rules in regard to transgender competitors on its official website, and so Tilinca never told anyone he’s trans. He just put his head down and worked hard on his body. It’s important to the teen that the world see transgender people not as “victims” but as people who can “do anything they set their minds to.” And he’s proving that one bicep curl at a time. Go, Alex! Click here to watch Newsday’s video feature on Alex.

(h/t Outsports, Newsday)

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Awesome Fun At ‘Meet N Grease’ Sing-A-Long

Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta at ‘Meet n Grease’ Sing a long event in West Palm Beach
Had an awesome time at the ‘Meet n Grease’ movie sing-a-long in West Palm Beach, Florida, last night as Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta reunited to host the event. As Travolta noted during the Q&A segment after the movie, it was the first time the duo had been in costume as “Danny” and “Sandy” since the film wrapped 42 years ago. The sing-a-long version of the mega-hit movie musical has been around for years and a staple of outdoor venues during the summer. What I didn’t know was the promoters hand out props for audience participation. During the pep rally sequence, every time you see the cheerleaders you wave a set of pompoms; there are bubbles to blow for “Beauty School Dropout;” and a racing flag to wave at the start of the penultimate drag race.
(photo: Caleb Petersen)
The promoters had one of the real Greased Lightning cars to take pics with, and Olivia & John (who wore a wig to look like his Danny Zuko character) posed for photos in a malt shop setting. The three film T-Birds (Michael Tucci, Barry Pearl, and Kelly Ward) were also there taking pics and entertaining the audience. The event moves to Tampa, Florida, tonight and then to Jacksonville on Sunday. I understand there are talks to do more in the future with ONJ and JT across the country since the initial run has been so successful 🙂 Here are a few photos from the event, and if you click over to TMZ you can watch Travolta and ONJ sing a bit of “Sandy” and “Hopelessly Devoted To You” and a little ‘Greased Lightning’ dance action with audience members (including a certain blogger you might know…)
In the malt shop with Olivia Newton-John, John Travolta and hubby Michael
Recreating that final shot from the movie in the actual Greased Lightning car!
The T-Birds: me with Barry Pearl, Michael Tucci, hubby Michael and Kelly Ward
One of the original ‘Greased Lightning’ cars!
The GREASE T-Birds reunite: Barry Pearl, John Travolta, Michael Tucci and Kelly Ward
Team ONJ at the end of the night 🙂

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Twitter: NY Unicorn Clears Snow From Driveway

Good on this woman in New York for finding a way to make the definitely-unpleasant task of clearing snow from her driveway just a bit more magical 🙂

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Gay Man Defends Bro’s Coming Out To Dad “It’s Like You Forgot Everything You Learned”

Reid Chandler (photo: Yordan)
Eight years ago, Reid Chandler came out to his family. A process he admits was “tough.” In a recent post on Twitter, Chandler shares that his family has been “amazing” in the time since he came out and “made a lot of progress,” which he straight up (you’ll pardon the pun) appreciates. But over the Thanksgiving holiday, his brother came out as well which Chandler characterizes as “tougher.” As his dad drove Chandler to the airport after the holiday, the father dropped an unsettling comment regarding his second son’s coming out – “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it makes me and your mom feel like we’ve done something terribly wrong as parents.” After processing the comment for a time, Chandler wrote to his father about the remark responding to the steps backward it seemed to represent. In sharing the missive on Twitter, which has now gone viral, he wrote: “So I love my parents and I won’t tolerate mean comments… but understand we are from a really southern, conservative background and me coming out was tough. My brother coming out last week was tougher,” Chandler wrote. “It took me that long to process but my dad needed to hear this.”

Here’s the text of Chandler’s message to his father:

Hey, I want to preface this text by saying I love you and you’ll always be my dad. I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me and I have a lot of respect for you.

But a comment you made on the drive to the airport has kept me up all night every night this week. I don’t expect a text back from you and I don’t even know if I want one. But this needs to be said.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but it makes me and your mom feel like we’ve done something terribly wrong as parents.”

How do I not take that the wrong way? Essentially you are saying that me being gay is a result of terrible parenting. That this is a pestilence we were cursed with. That I am a curse.

The belief system you and mom were raised on are not mine or Layton’s responsibility to tiptoe around or be sensitive to. Whatever you were taught about gay people-it is wrong. Point blank, period. End of story.

Imagine a parent telling their straight son he is a mistake. How wrong does that sound? That’s how you sounded to me in the car.

It is just as likely your child will be straight, bi, gay, trans, etc. You just weren’t raised to believe that and I guess I have to accept that. But I won’t accept feeling the way I’ve felt all week.

Eight years ago I came out to you and it’s been a journey for our whole family. You’ve been amazing all things considered and I thought we’ve made a lot of progress. You even invited my boyfriend at one time on vacation. Yet my brother comes out and it’s like we hit the reset button. It’s like you forgot everything you learned about love and compassion.

Be better and do better. Expand your mind. And if you don’t, fine, I can’t force you to and I certainly won’t bring this up again. But the train has left the station, Dad. My life is on the path it was always meant to be. Get on board or don’t. I will find happiness one way or another. It breaks my heart I have to even ask this of you.

Just because I love men doesn’t make me less of a man. And just because you don’t accept that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

In follow-up posts, Chandler said he didn’t anticipate his message receiving the attention it has “but I guess that’s what happens when you put something on Twitter.” He added that he considered removing the tweet because it felt “too personal” admitting he was “in an emotional space” when he tweeted it. But after the overwhelmingly “warm and moving” responses he received (over 28,000), he decided to leave it up as it seemed to resonate with so many. He also tweeted that many followers had asked if he got a response from his dad. He has but “sharing more of our conversation feels a step too invasive.” Sharing that his father was “kind and loving” in his response, he added that, “Our family is very close and I know I’m privileged in that regard.”

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Coldplay’s Chris Martin Opens Up On Conquering Childhood Homophobia

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin (image via Depositphotos)
During a recent video interview with Rolling Stone, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin opens up for the first time about struggling with his sexuality as a boy, homophobic bullying he experienced as a kid, and realizing he carried some homophobia of his own. “When I went to boarding school, I walked a bit funny and I bounced a bit,” said Martin. “And I was also very homophobic, because I was like, ‘If I’m gay, I’m completely f*cked for eternity’ and I was a kid discovering sexuality.” “‘Maybe I’m gay, maybe I’m this, maybe I’m that, I can’t be this,’ so I was terrified,” the 42-year-old added. He described his classmates at boarding school in the UK as “a bunch of quite hardcore kids” saying “for a few years, they would very much say, ‘You’re definitely gay,’ in quite a full-on manner, quite aggressively telling me that – and it was weird for me for a few years.” That “terrible turmoil” led Martin to discover his personal escape – music – especially “classic soul, British shoegaze rock and cathedral music” which would all ultimately find its way into the sound that is Coldplay. And then, at the age of fifteen and a half, after reading about Elton John’s life and career, the anti-gay mindset “stopped overnight.” “I don’t know what happened,” he told Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner. “I was like, ‘Yeah, so what?’ and then it all just stopped overnight. It was very interesting. Once I was like, ‘Yeah, so what if I’m gay.’” “Just growing up a bit and having a bit more exposure to the world, thinking, ‘A lot of my heroes are gay’ or whatever,” he realized. “Whatever they are, it doesn’t really matter.” Martin says that epiphany led him to consider other conflicting issues in his young life as well, including religion. “[It] made me question, ‘Hey, maybe some of this stuff that I’m learning about God and everything — I’m not sure if I subscribe to all of this particular religion,’” he shares. Describing his personal relationship with religion as “wobbly,” he eventually he settled on his “own relationship” with the concept of God, and realized “it’s not really any one religion for me.’” The Rolling Stone sit-down is one of just a handful of interviews the singer is giving in support of Coldplay’s newly-released album, Everyday Life. Check out the band’s latest music video, “Daddy.” https://youtu.be/OWhiCkEY-Yk (source: Rolling Stone)