Tag: coming out

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Robbie Rogers Responds To Being Called “Queer” In The Heat Of Soccer Match

A reminder that we live in a world that still has a way to go when it comes to LGBT acceptance.

Out soccer player Robbie Rogers wrote on his Facebook page last night about an opposing player – for the first time since he became the first openly gay professional athlete in the U.S. – calling him “queer,” and the impact it had on him.

From Robbie’s Facebook page:

“Shit Off My Chest: 4 years later.”

After being out injured for two months with an Achilles surgery I finally made my return last night.

In the heat of the last fifteen minutes of the game a player from the opposing team called me a “queer” repeatedly. To be honest my initial reaction was one of shock. This is my fourth season back in the MLS and I’ve yet to hear another player use that or any other gay slur during a game. I quickly became enraged, I spent the drive home wishing I had channeled my inner Zidane and punched or head-butted this player even though I knew punching this person wouldn’t have helped either of us, my team, or the greater cause of advancing equality in sports. I went to bed upset last night. Angry at this player and and his ignorance. Angry at myself for not doing more in the moment. Sad the we still live in a time where this kind of intolerance still exists in my sport and elsewhere. And if I’m being honest, I was even a bit ashamed that a single word could make me feel, even just for a moment, all the awful feelings I felt for so many years: small, less than, wrong, and unworthy of love and respect by my family or god forbid by my teammates.

But it was just for a moment.

Minutes later my head was back in the game. And this morning even most of the anger has faded and the predominant emotions left are just love and gratitude. I’m happy that I practiced restraint worthy of my sport. I’m thankful for the many players on my team and even the opposing one who apologized to me for one man’s actions. Today, I woke up grateful to work in organization filled with so many players and coaches who have worked hard to practice tolerance of everyone and to help change a culture.

But mostly I’m proud of myself. I am proud more than ever that I had the courage to come out as a queer man. I feel so fortunate to have gotten to share my story with others and to have gotten to play this sport I love so much as an openly gay person. I am, more than ever, thankful to have teammates and a family that love and support me for the son, brother, partner, father and queer player that I am.

I’m encouraging, as I did when I came out four years ago, all athletes to find the courage within themselves to come out. Listen, only you know when and how it’s best for you to live your truth and share your story, but each one of you that chooses to make this courageous step is not just vastly improving your own life but literally saving others.

xRR

Robbie continues to inspire.

I completely get Robbie’s thought that he was “ashamed that a single word” could affect him so strongly. I think most gay men still have that knee-jerk reaction when we hear the words that taunted us in the past in today’s social landscape.

I have to say thanks to Robbie for sharing the incident and how it processed through his heart and mind.

#Winner

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Tyler Posey “Comes Out” Then Apologizes For Fake Out

Teen Wolf star Tyler Posey made waves on the world wide web this weekend when he posted a video on Snapchat that seemed to be his coming out to the world.

“This is me,” Posey says in the video. “I am this and this is me. I’ve never felt more alive. I’m gay!”

But, folks were a little disappointed and hurt when his next video showed him pointing to a lamp saying he was a lamp, too.

I’m sure a lot of the young gays out there who look up to Posey were excited there for a moment.

Posey clearly knew he’d crossed a line, so he tweeted the following message in a series of tweets:

“I am a big proponent of love over hate, and standing together during divisive times. Although I’m not gay, I fully support the LGBTQ community. This was a moment intended to reflect that. And everyone, I am truly sorry to the people I’ve offended or lessened how big coming out is. I just want to spread love in this world.”

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Star Trek Beyond Reveals Sulu To Be Gay With Same-Sex Partner

The character of “Hikaru Sulu,” played by John Cho in the current reboot of the sci-fi franchise and George Takei in the iconic TV series, is portrayed as openly gay and having a same-sex partner in the upcoming Star Trek Beyond.

Via OUT:

Star Trek Beyond’s Hikara Sulu will be revealed as gay in the third installment of the sci-fi reboot as a nod to the role’s original actor and openly gay activist, George Takei.

Sulu, played by John Cho in Beyond, will be shown to have a daughter with a same-sex partner, Cho revealed in an interview while promoting the movie in Sydney.

“I liked the approach, which was not to make a big thing out it,” Cho told The Herald Sun, “which is where I hope we are going as a species, to not politicize one’s personal orientations.”

Takei was closeted during his time on the show, but later came out in the early 2000s and has been a strong voice for LGBT rights. In 2015, he revealed that he had approached Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry about gays and lesbians on the show. The show had already pushed serious cultural boundaries when an episode aired the first interracial kiss on television.

Takei said that the creators worried if they went too far, they would lose the show.

“But I think we’re getting closer to that utopian society that Gene Roddenberry visualized,” Takei said last year, “much more rapidly than even the technology.”

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Hallmark Short Film: “The Beginning”

Short film The Beginning from the Hallmark Channel’s streaming service, Feeln, where you can watch

Minutes before young Davis (Pedro Correa) is set to depart for his high school prom, he comes out to his dad (Josh Daugherty).

Well done – thoughtful, and very in the moment.

Written by Steven Tagle and directed by Melanie McGraw.

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Sean Hayes: “I Regret Not Coming Out Sooner”

Former Will & Grace star Sean Hayes tells Playbill he wishes he had come out publicly during the run of the hit TV series.

“I got Will & Grace, and I thought, ‘Oh, this is different. I don’t know how to handle this. I’m not bright enough, I’m not quick enough, I don’t have the DNA to be a spokesperson for any kind of group of people.’”

“I had personal issues inside of myself that I regret.

“I regret not coming out sooner and helping more people, and I regret not coming out during the show.

“Everybody in the gay community knew I was gay, but it was this fight I had with the press because they want you to come out on their terms, and other gay people want you to come out on their terms, and if you don’t come out on their terms you’re just an asshole, and you’re wrong. Well, each individual human being has a lot of stuff that nobody knows about.

“Nobody knows what anybody else is going through at any point in their lives.”

Hayes eventually came out in 2010, four years after the end of Will & Grace.

He married his partner, Scott Icenogle, in 2014, and is currently starring on Broadway in the play An Act of God.

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News Round-Up: June 10, 2016

Broadway Bares: Fire Island 2016

Some news stories you may have missed:

• Broadway Bares: Fire Island, the more intimate little bro version of the popular fundraiser, rakes in $51,733 for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS.

• Shout-out to an old friend of mine – Hamilton star (and Tony Award nominee) Leslie Odom Jr. – who just dropped his new self-titled album which is sitting at #1 one on the iTunes Jazz chart. Go check out his music now!

• Omar Sharif Jr. admits that he had suicidal thoughts after coming out.

• Online media giant Gawker files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in the wake of a $140 million lawsuit.

• Brock Turner, the convicted “Stanford rapist,” will only serve 3 months of his 6 month sentence.

• Orange Is The New Black‘s Lea Delaria thinks we should drop “LGBT” for “Queer.” I’m personally not a fan of the word. How about you? Thoughts?

• Madonna, who rarely performs her older catalogue on TV, performed “Borderline” last night on The Tonight Show.

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Colton Haynes Responds To “The Real O’Neals” Noah Galvin’s Criticism On Coming Out

Noah Galvin

Yesterday, I posted about an interview The Real O’Neals star Noah Galvin gave to Vulture wherein he was surprisingly negative about other gay men in the entertainment industry in LA, including Colton Haynes, who’s recent coming out in an EW interview he called “pussy bullshit.”

“That’s not coming out,” Galvin said. “That’s fucking pussy bullshit. That’s like, ’Enough people assume that I sleep with men, so I’m just going to slightly confirm the fact that I’ve sucked a dick or two.’ That’s not doing anything for the little gays but giving them more masturbation material.”

Colton Haynes

Last night, Colton responded to Galvin asking “since when did he become the judge of what’s appropriate?”

Galvin has since issued this apology to Haynes:

“To Colton Haynes and to the LGBTQ youth, especially those who have embraced our show, I have no right to dictate how or when anybody comes out of the closet; I know how difficult and scary the process of coming out can be, and the last thing I would ever want to do is make it scarier.”

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Christian Rocker Trey Pearson Talks Coming Out On THE VIEW

A few days ago, I wrote about Christian rocker Trey Pearson of Everyday Sunday who recently made to decision to come out publicly.

Today, Pearson sat down with the ladies of The View to talk on his coming out journey, and the effect it’s had on his life and family.

Text via Towleroad:

• “I grew up in a Christian home and church where I was taught that God hated homosexuality and I could choose to be straight. And I tried for a really long time. And I don’t think I was ever trying to lie to anyone. I was trying to convince myself that I could be something I wasn’t.”

• On his now ex-wife of seven and a half years when he came out to her:“By the time I was able to tell myself and tell her, she just hugged me and cried and told me how proud of me she was for being able to be honest with myself. She’s been my biggest supporter, my biggest advocate.”

• The moment he saw his dad after his story (and he) was finally out: “The day that my story came out, my dad was at work and he read it. And he showed up on my porch while I was curled up on the couch, not sure what people would think, who would be talking about it. And he just knocked on the door – I had no idea he was coming – and he just hugged me for ten minutes and told me how much he loved me.”

• On still being a Christian today: “I feel I’m more in love with Jesus and the scriptures than ever.”

• On the near future: “I’m not dating. I decided to take at least a year to get to know myself as a gay person before starting to get to know who somebody else is in that sort of way,” said Pearson.

Very well-spoken, Trey has a raw honesty in his voice that sounds very freeing for him.

Congrats Trey on living life as who you are!

Watch the segment below:

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Lead Singer Of Christian Band EVERYDAY SUNDAY Comes Out As Gay

Trey Pearson, front man for Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, has come out in a heartbreaking open letter to his fans.

Via the Washington Post:

To my fans and friends:

Most of us reach at least one pivotal moment in our lives that better defines who we are.

These last several months have been the hardest — but have also ended up being the most freeing months — of my life.

To make an extremely long story short, I have come to be able to admit to myself, and to my family, that I am gay.

I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where I was taught that my sexual orientation was a matter of choice, and had put all my faith into that. I had never before admitted to myself that I was gay, let alone to anyone else. I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me; so it never was an option for me. I have been suppressing these attractions and feelings since adolescence. I’ve tried my whole life to be straight. I married a girl, and I even have two beautiful little kids. My daughter, Liv, is six and my son, Beckham, is two.

I had always romanticized the idea of falling in love with a woman; and having a family had always been my dream. In many ways, that dream has come true. But I have also come to realize a lot of time has passed in my life pushing away, blocking out and not dealing with real feelings going on inside of me. I have tried not to be gay for more than 20 years of my life. I found so much comfort as a teen in 1 Samuel 18-20 and the intimacy of Jonathan and David. I thought and hoped that such male intimacy could fulfill that void I felt in my desire for male companionship. I always thought if I could find these intimate friendships, then that would be enough.

Then I thought everything would come naturally on my wedding night. I honestly had never even made out with a girl before I got married. Of course, it felt anything but natural for me. Trying not to be gay, has only led to a desire for intimacy in friendships which pushed friends away, and it has resulted in a marriage where I couldn’t love or satisfy my wife in a way that she needed. Still, I tried to convince myself that this was what God wanted and that this would work. I thought all of those other feelings would stay away if I could just do this right.

When Lauren and I got married, I committed to loving her to the best of my ability, and I had the full intention of spending the rest of my life with her. Despite our best efforts, however, I have come to accept that there is nothing that is going to change who I am.

I have intensely mixed feelings about the changes that have resulted in my life. While I regret the way I was taught to handle this growing up, how much it has hurt me and the unintentional pain I have brought Lauren, I wouldn’t have the friendship I now have with her, and we wouldn’t have our two amazing, beautiful children. But if I keep trying to push this down it will end up hurting her even more.

I am never going to be able to change how I am, and no matter how healthy our relationship becomes, it’s never going to change what I know deep down: that I am gay. Lauren has been the most supportive, understanding, loving and gracious person I could ever ask for, as I have come to face this. And now I am trying to figure out how to co-parent while being her friend, and how to raise our children.

I have progressed so much in my faith over these last several years. I think I needed to be able to affirm other gay people before I could ever accept it for myself. Likewise, I couldn’t expect others to accept me how I am until I could come to terms with it first.

I know I have a long way to go. But if this honesty with myself about who I am, and who I was made by God to be, doesn’t constitute as the peace that passes all understanding, then I don’t know what does. It is like this weight I have been carrying my whole life has been lifted from me, and I have never felt such freedom.

In sharing this publicly I’m taking another step into health and wholeness by accepting myself, and every part of me. It’s not only an idea for me that I’m gay; It’s my life. This is me being authentic and real with myself and other people. This is a part of who I am.

I hope people will hear my heart, and that I will still be loved. I’m still the same guy, with the same heart, who wants to love God and love people with everything I have. This is a part of me I have come to be able to accept, and now it is a part of me that you know as well. I trust God to help love do the rest.

– Trey

It remains to be seen if this will damage, or possibly end, his music career in the Christian music realm.

(h/t Boy Culture)

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TEEN WOLF/ARROW Star Colton Haynes Officially Comes Out

(via Instagram)

Rumors, innuendo and even coy teasing have surrounded Arrow / Teen Wolf star Colton Haynes’s sexual orientation for years, the pinnacle of which was a coy response to a social media post back in January.

Now, the hunky actor shares his journey to living openly with Entertainment Weekly. Along the way, Haynes explains why it took him a while to get comfortable living in his own skin.

“I asked to step away because I cared more about my mental and physical health than my career at the time,” the actor tells EW, opening up about his personal and professional life for the first time in quite some time. “I’ve had terminal anxiety my entire life. Physically ill, fainting. I’m 27 years old, and I have an ulcer. I had to step back.”

“I should have made a comment or a statement, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t feel like I owed anyone anything. I think in due time, everyone has to make those decisions when they’re ready, and I wasn’t yet. But I felt like I was letting people down by not coming forward with the rest of what I should have said.” The headlines about Haynes turned vitriolic in the absence of an announcement, but he was in no place to make one: He had checked into rehab for anxiety and would be frequently back in the hospital over the next three months.

“People want you to be that GQ image that you put out, but people don’t realize what it’s like to act 24 hours a day. I’d go home and I was still acting,” he says gently. “People who are so judgmental about those who are gay or different don’t realize that acting 24 hours a day is the most exhausting thing in the world.” The truth is, Haynes has been out for most of his life – in high school, to his family and friends, to his cast members, to his Hollywood bosses (like Arrow creator Greg Berlanti, now one of his closest mentors). But as a green transplant in Hollywood in 2006, he wasn’t any more immune to the town’s well-chronicled discomfort with LGBT identity.

Though the 27-year-old has been out to his friends and family for years, he’s now ready to live openly in front of everyone.

“It took me so long to get to this point, but I’m doing so good. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and healthier than I’ve ever been, and that’s what I care about.”

Congrats, Colton!