SNL Cold Open Takes On Giuliani’s ‘Star Witness’

The SNL cold open couldn’t resist taking on the media moment of the week: Rudy Giuliani’s seemingly drunk ‘star witness’ during a Michigan State Senate hearing.

In the skit, Rudy Giuliani (Kate McKinnon) is trying to make an argument to prove widespread voter fraud in the 2020 presidential election.

He presents former Dominion Systems staffer Melissa Carone (Cecily Strong): “I swear to tell my whole story, and nothing but my story so help me Gob.”

Asked to present what she witnessed, Strong’s Carone replied, “Excuse me, maybe try losing the attitude first. Just like you lost all those Trump ballots.”

“Did you check every poll? Did you talk to all the dead people? Excuse me. I have been threatened. My kids have been threatened. My kids have threatened me, and I’ve threatened them right back. … I’m not lying. I signed an After David.”

After other ‘witnesses,’ Carone returns: “Excuse me we are all here under oath. If you want to talk about random. I voted for Trump yet Biden won? Hmm? Maybe a little bit too random. You aren’t even going to admit that Dominion cheated.”

Asked how the voting machine company ‘cheated,’ Strong’s Carone answers, “Well, for starters they cheated me out of my cheesy bread.”

“I think you’re confusing Dominion with Dominos,” says a lawmaker.

“Either way, my vote took longer than 30 minutes so it’s supposed to be free,” Strong’s Carone snaps back.