From Christwire.org – and yes, this is meant to be funny:
Caroling use to be fun event that friendly American loving neighbors use to do to spread Christmas cheer to one’s town. Now caroling has been turned into a door to door shopping extravaganza for gays to be able to peek into your homes and count how many untouched children live inside their neighbor’s homes. Homos will now insert themselves into the local caroling squads and take notes of the child’s eye color, hair color and cut, height, smell and if they have a soft or rough skin tone.
Ah, the fat old man who brings lovely gifts to non sinning children is now being turned into a hunk of fire burning homogayness who is now decking the halls with bounds of sugar plummed anal sin and jolly homo ecstasy laced candy canes. The gays are slowly trying to convert the image of Santa from a happy Grandpa, to a sin cave docking jellybean so your children will be more comfortable when a strange man with iron pecks and chiseled jaw lines comes up to them and asks if they want to come the workshop and play with the North Pole. The gays are hoping this new marketing strategy will increase the child to man love success rate in suburban America.
Gays will find any excuse to lick the musky candy sac of another man, so now the gays are openly walking around with mistletoe strategically placed above their holly jollies in hopes that trains of suckling street homos will line up to give their package a peck under their zipper’s mistletoe.