News Round-Up: August 2, 2017

Some news items you might have missed:

• I’m half-way through my week, Instahunk Steve Raider (above) is half-way through his day at the beach. Switch places?

• Donald Trump has (finally) signed legislation that imposes further sanctions on Russia for meddling in the 2016 election. The measure also limits his own authority to lift those sanctions. I’m surprised he would do that to the Motherland.

• Former White House photographer Pete Souza responds to reports that Donald Trump told golf club members that the White House is “a real dump:”

The Daily Show‘s Trevor Noah on Los Angeles booking the 2028 Olympics: “Because this is Hollywood, there will be big changes … For example, the entire Chinese Olympic team will be played by white actors.”

• Facing 24 counts of prosecutorial misconduct, former Congressman Aaron Schock is shocked federal investigators have dug into personal aspects of his life, including whether rumors that he is gay are true or not. Maybe it was the Downton Abbey-styled office that gave it away? Or perhaps the turquoise belt paired with a plum checkered shirt?

• Announcing “It’s time for The Wall,” Speaker of the House Paul Ryan gets all butch riding a horse in dad jeans with hip EDM music in the background of this 30-second clip of his trip to the Mexican border. Wearing a headset and Ray Bans, Ryan goes full #MAGA for “The Wall.” Watch below.