The hits keep coming for former talk show host Jeanine Pirro, now acting U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia (photo).
On Thursday, a Washington D.C. jury found Sean Dunn, aka ‘the Sandwich Guy,’ not guilty of misdemeanor assault.
Back in August, Dunn threw a subway sandwich at Gregory Lairmore, one of the many CBP agents the president sent to D.C. for what Trump claims is a crime crackdown, but is really more of a ‘tough guy’ performance.
Larimore was in a bulletproof vest, and the sub bounced off the agent’s chest. Dunn then scrambled out of the scene, leaving us the spectacle of several other federal agents trying to catch him.
GREAT NEWS, in case you missed it:
Subway Sandwich guy was found NOT GUILTY.
Some heroes are born, some are bread.pic.twitter.com/5CNBLObzfA
— BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ (@mmpadellan) November 7, 2025
Officers arrested Dunn about a block away, but he was released soon after because — it was a sandwich.
He reportedly offered to turn himself in to federal authorities, but instead they did an over-the-top nighttime raid at Dunn’s home, complete with armed agents in riot gear.
Of course, The White House posted this dramatic video of the raid on X with the caption: “Nighttime Routine: Operation Make DC Safe Again Edition.”
Nighttime Routine: Operation Make D.C. Safe Again Edition pic.twitter.com/ngZsbgBpcz
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) August 14, 2025
Initially, Pirro tried to charge Dunn with a felony because “sandwich assault on an officer!” But the D.C. grand jury declined to indict Dunn for a felony because, hello, it was a sandwich.
Mind you – she’s cool with Trump pardoning all the J6ers who attacked Capitol Police officers. #noprob
So, Pirro ultimately had him charged him with a misdemeanor, which doesn’t require a grand jury. And thus we had the spectacle of a multi-day trial over an attack by sandwich.
Just remember: The same Trump Administration prosecuting “sandwich guy” also pardoned this guy trying to gouge out the eyes of a federal officer.
In other words, if you’re MAGA you get pardoned. If you’re not MAGA you get prosecuted. pic.twitter.com/33msIp1ImM
— Admiral Bonk (@AdmiralBonk) November 5, 2025
Larimore took the stand to share his trauma, explaining that “the sandwich kind of exploded all over my uniform. It smelled of onions and mustard.”
Now imagine the moment that Dunn’s attorney showed Larimore a photo of the sandwich on the ground. Wrapped. Not exploded.
Apparently, Larimore’s claim that the mustard and onions made him feel violently attacked was undercut further by the fact he received gag gifts from fellow tough guy agents, like a plush sandwich toy labeled “Felony Footlong.” And Larimore was fine with it.
In the end, though, Dunn did lose his job as a paralegal at the Department of Justice, with US Attorney General Pam Bondi calling him “an example of the Deep State.”
Meanwhile, stylized, Bansky-style images of a man preparing to hurl a hoagie appeared all over DC.
Viva the Sandwich Revolution! Sandwich Guy fails to get indicted on any charges. pic.twitter.com/2Bz5xW6h6y
— Ilyse Hogue (@ilyseh) November 6, 2025
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