Category: Life

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Happy Father’s Day 2020

L-R Me with my dad, Gene Slovacek, and brother Gary, heading to the rodeo in Fort Worth, TX
  Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. To every man who makes a difference in someone’s life, and inspires people to have no fear. The essay below appeared as my very first post on The Randy Report. As I sat down at my laptop, I had no idea what I was going to write. But it soon became clear I had something to say about my father who had passed away a little over a year before I wrote this. This seems appropriate to re-post on Father’s Day.

Growing up in Texas, I was pretty afraid of a lot of the world. Afraid to express myself, afraid I wouldn’t be liked, afraid I wouldn’t get where I wanted to go in life. I went to Syracuse University for college – a blinding change of weather, tone, and scenery. The adventure opened up my world as I worked through four freezing cold years, spent over $40K on tuition and walked away with a piece of paper saying that I had done something. I moved to New York City with my best friend Carlye to pursue dreams of being on Broadway, and eventually got there after serving time in many National touring companies of those Broadway shows I dreamed of being a part of. In those years I came to deal with the fact that I was gay, fell out of the closet, fell in love with my husband Michael, moved out west, got married, and began a new chapter. You’ll be hearing much more about Carlye and Michael in future posts. Somewhere along the way, I realized life had taught me a lot about fear and it’s uselessness. I once heard the phrase “I’m not afraid of anything” and I really liked how that sounded. I try to honor that. Even if a little fear creeps into a life moment, I chalk it up to reminding me I’m alive. As a cancer survivor, I like the “alive” part. But most of the time, I just try to keep moving forward. I’m not worried about what people think of me anymore, or how people will react to my opinions. I think it’s the American Way to live and let live, to honor our differences and realize that all our flavors create the best country in the world. I have no time for people who have issues with anyone who is “different.” Different is good. And if you believe that, you have to take it to the bank. Live it. So skin color, hair color, religion or lack thereof, sexual orientation, age, blah blah blah…. it all makes life interesting and spicy. At least to me.

Me with my dad in 2006

Short story: My father loved to travel and loved adventure. Before he died at the age of 91, he had traveled everywhere in the world several times over. Sometimes by himself, meeting new friends along the way. Talk about no fear. My mother had passed away when I was five, so my father was THE grown-up figure in my life. He was very confident, and throughout childhood, I always knew he loved me. But growing up, I wanted his approval. I wanted him to be proud of me. To not only love me but see me attempt something and hear him say “good job.” When I was very young my father took my brother and me to Mexico for a vacation. For me as a 7-year-old, Mexico was a very different world. Other than a swimming pool at a hotel, I was scared of a lot. At one point we were on a beach and my father signed up my 9-year-old brother Gary to go para-sailing. They strapped Gary into the harness, and up and away he went. It didn’t seem like an adventure to me so much as just plain frightening. When the time came for the ride to end, my brother was so small and light in weight and the wind was so strong, it was difficult to get him down to the ground. It took ten minutes for the “technicians” to get him down. My father turned to me and said “you’re next” and I went running away, crying. Scared to death. That was Mexico to me for a long, long time. Fast forward to two years ago. I was on vacation in Mexico with friends of mine, and we all decided to go zip lining through the jungle near Puerto Vallarta. I couldn’t wait. Loved it. Taking a zip line hundreds of feet above the jungle floor was beyond exhilarating. The guides asked my name at the start of the day and I gave myself the nickname “Bruno” just to be funny and make my friends laugh. All-day long the guides cheered “Bruno” on. It was a great day. No fear in sight and it didn’t even occur to me fear should even be in the equation. The next morning, while still in Mexico, I got the call my 91-year-old father had passed away in his sleep of natural causes. I, of course, flew from PV to Texas to handle the funeral and burial details. In preparing to speak at my father’s funeral – a daunting and important “one-shot moment” at expressing something that you hope will be profound – I searched to find the best and most “right” thing to say about this world & life traveler who never showed fear. And suddenly, the memory of that 7-year-old boy who was so afraid of everything in life. Having just been in Mexico for the first time since that frightening childhood experience, without thinking twice I was the one zooming through the canopy of the jungle, thrilled at the adventure of it all. And I realized the unconscious confidence he’d inspired in me to travel across the country to attend college, then move to New York City to follow my dreams, and then travel the world as he had. I suddenly sensed the closing of a circle, the passing of a torch. One of our parent’s greatest responsibilities is to prepare us, consciously or subconsciously, to face life. To not be afraid. Standing next to my father’s casket, in a moment of clarity, I turned and said to my father and his memory – “Good job.” That story probably says something about me and my life. I hope people find this blog, and read and react. Feel free. No fear.

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Viral Video: Texas Man Explains Hypocrisy In Trump Supporters

Andrew Joseph Duffer (screen captures)
“Y’all know I pace when I talk, so let’s get started.” And thus southern charmer Andrew Joseph Duffer begins his viral rant from his “country-bumpkin podunk town in Northeast Texas” – population less than 5,000 – “where hypocrisy, racism and homophobia run rampant.” Posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, the video has over 268,000 views on his page alone and has been shared extensively across social media. “If you’re a Black person and you can act white and dress white – whatever the f*ck that means – you’re considered a “‘White/Black’ person (air quotes included) and you won’t experience racism in its full capacity,” says the tousle-haired Duffer continuing his laps around his hallways. “Don’t misunderstand me, you certainly will experience racism, it just won’t be as bad.” “Gay people, same for you,” he added as the rant ride continues. “If your parents are popular enough, well established enough, and you’ve been seen at the church at least once, then you won’t be destined for the Lake of Fire.” “All these years I thought it was the blood of Christ that brought salvation but in this instance, it was my daddy’s ability to do the townspeople’s tax returns,”  he says as the moment of clarity whizzes by. “Who would have thought? Thus, the hypocrisy – and that’s the toxic waste place that I come from.” “Keep your seatbelts fastened,” he takes another lap, “because we are now reaching the turbulent part of this video and I guaran-damn-tee you some panties are going to get in a wad.” Even though Duffer doesn’t make a habit of discussing the current occupant of the Oval Office with his neighbors, it seems the folks in town have reached out to HIM to express their “love and support” even as they support the Trumpster. But Duffer isn’t interested in their “love and support” if they can’t see the hypocrisy in trying to justify his actions. This is usually qualified by noting they think he’s “good for the economy,” “beneficial to my small business,” and this being Texas, he of course wants them to have assault rifles and “keeps the illegals out.” “Would you walk up to Anne Frank in the supermarket by the frozen peas and tell her that you ‘love’ her but you support Hitler?,” he asks of his local Trumpkins after segueing into an Anne Frank metaphor. “Because if you would, you need to be rammed in the ankles with a shopping cart immediately.” “You can’t sit there until your black friends, your immigrant friends, your Muslim friends, your Hispanic friends, your LGBTQ friends that you love and support them but you’re supporting Trump,” Duffer continues as the ride gathers speed. “Because we’ve got Mexicans in cages, we have got black people getting killed in the street, we’ve got gays being stripped of their rights left and right I mean every day I wake up Donald Trump is doing something to attack these people.” “He is not good for this country and you just, you sound dumb.” “And I need you to stop, ok?” Summing up the situation as he takes his final lap around his home’s hallways, Duffer shares, “It’s not a difference of opinion, it’s a difference of morality.” “Have a great f**king day – unless you support Trump.” Thank you, Andrew Joseph Duffer.

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The Circle Of Life

Our ‘Prince of April Wind’ – Bear
I’m sad to share that our puppy Bear, who was nearly 17-years-old, passed away on Saturday. He’d been on medication for a heart condition for the past few months but was doing well. Thursday night he was fine, occasionally taking the time to bark at a friend’s basset hound we were dog-sitting. But out of nowhere on Friday, he stopped eating food and barely took any water and couldn’t keep the water he did drink down. Listless and a bit disoriented, he was very quiet and basically slept all day. In the past, he also experienced brief seizures that began coming more often. He’d had them before, but usually weeks between episodes. Friday night, he was very restless and couldn’t get comfortable. We were up most of the night watching him. On Saturday morning, we were already very concerned, but then the seizures came again. He had six episodes throughout the morning – each more violent than he has ever had. Heartbroken, we knew what we had to do. We had to be his “humans” and take his pain away.
Michael with Bear
Our ‘Prince of April Wind’ crossed the rainbow bridge – on his favorite blanket that he slept on every night – with the help of two very compassionate veterinarians who came to the house.
I took this photo of Bear looking out the front door just days before his passing
Bear was born last in Michael’s hands, and over the years his timid nature put him down the pecking order in terms of alpha-dom. But in the past seven months, being the lone dog of the house, he flourished and grew confident. Even in his last moments, when the vets came into the bedroom on Saturday, he stood up and barked ferociously defending us from what he perceived as a threat. Our prince had become a knight.
Me with baby Bear getting some water during the puppy days
With the passing of any loved one comes grief, but in addition to losing Bear, we find ourselves at the end of our wonderful 23-year adventure with this beautiful dachshund family. We began with the mama, Sabrina, in December 1997. Daddy dog Bruno joined the family in 2002, and in July of 2003, their puppies Tyler, Bandit, and Bear were born. As our friends know, the dogs ruled in our house. For years, the house was full of boundless dog energy.
The dogs help Michael take a break from work
Everywhere we look, the dogs’ presence is undeniable. Five water dishes spread around the house, six beds, the pantry full of treats, their blankets on our bed… For all these years, this furry family has loved on us and brought more joy than words can describe. We realize that, as adults, for the past 32 years, we’ve both always had dogs in our lives. But in 2011, we lost Sabrina. Bandit passed in 2017, Bruno followed a year later, and this past November Tyler departed.
Me with all five doxies
As we lost them over the years, there was always the surviving pups to love on and pour our hearts into. Now, just silence. We are heartbroken and the pain is so deep we are both literally numb. Rest in peace our little teddy Bear – your family is there waiting for you on the other side of the bridge. It’s the end of our Doxie Dynasty.
Bruno being daddy with the puppies as Sabrina looks on

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Memorial Day 2020: Remember And Honor

Wishing everyone a great holiday weekend, and I hope that folks take some time out to remember why we celebrate this day as a nation. It’s not “National BBQ Day,” you know. Think of those we’ve lost who stood up for, and made possible, our freedoms and liberty here in the U.S. A few facts about Memorial Day: • Originally known as Decoration Day, the observance began in the years following the Civil War honoring those who fell during that conflict. • During World War I, the tradition expanded into a day of remembering all men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. • In 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which established Memorial Day as a federal holiday to be held on the last Monday in May. The law went into effect in 1971. • Each year on Memorial Day a national moment of remembrance takes place at 3:00 p.m. local time. • Memorial Day typically marks the start of the summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its end. • Memorial Day has a different focus than Veterans Day. Memorial Day is a day of remembering those who perished while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans. • The average age of fallen U.S. soldiers is 26½. The New York Times reports that Arlington National Cemetery is running out of room and may need to consider new rules that may turn away eligible soldiers.

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#CostcoTison Wins The Day After Rude Customer Booted From Store

CostCo manager Tison and Mr. 3K
The latest video to go viral on Twitter involves a CostCo store manager who politely stopped a shopper in his Colorado-based store who wasn’t wearing a face mask. For health reasons involving the current COVID-19 health crisis that has killed over 90,000 Americans to date, the store posted its requirement for all shoppers to wear a mask weeks ago. Tison let the gentleman know he needed to wear a face mask – like all the other shoppers in the store – or he’d need to leave. The shopper began recording the encounter and proudly announced his bigly 3K following on Instagram. Mr. 3K informed the store manager he didn’t have to wear a mask because “he woke up in a free country.” Tison politely looked in the camera and restated the policy. When Mr. 3K refused to wear the mask, Tison took the man’s shopping cart and departed saying, “Have a great day.” “So you’re gonna take this cart from me full of stuff?” the shopper asked, to which Tison replied, “You are no longer welcome here in our warehouse. You need to leave, thank you very much.” “He’s gonna take the cart away because he’s a pu**y little bitch,” said Mr. 3K as Tison walked away. “There he goes walking away with all my stuff, there he goes because I’m not a f**king sheep.” Note – the goods weren’t Mr. 3K’s yet as he hadn’t paid, but I digress. Mr. 3K apparently posted the video (thinking he was victorious) on Reddit, but soon deleted the clip as he was being ridiculed across the interwebs. But, as they say, the internet is forever… Here is Mr. 3K and our hero, Tison via Twitter. For the record – what I see here is a responsible front line supermarket employee doing his job and enforcing company policy, he did not deserve the abuse.

“People of Twitter thank you for all of the support,” @Thoff821 tweeted. “I was just trying to protect our employees and our members #Tison.”

Mr. 3K came back to announce, “I got every f—ing right to not wear a mask,” he said. “This isn’t about wearing a mask, it’s about control. I’m not the f—ing sheep … I was one of the only people in that store not wearing a mask.”

Dude, you pay ‘membership’ to belong to CostCo and the rules state membership may be terminated at any time. Plus, policies and practices may be amended from time to time.

And, saving the best for last:

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Red Lobster Rumble As Customer Slaps Employee On Mother’s Day

It was a rumble at a Red Lobster restaurant when another ‘Karen’ lost her mind waiting for her order and slapped an employee. The term ‘Karen’ has become popular in the modern-day lexicon referring to “a strident middle-class white woman who talks down to people of color, usually in serving-staff positions.” According to the York Daily Record, a video posted to YouTube shows several employees forcibly removing the woman (who was not wearing a face mask) from the restaurant. As she attempts to push her way back inside, she loudly demands her “motherf**king money back.” With the patron outside, she continues to be unruly. The employees inside appear to be trying to find a way to solve the refund issue when suddenly the woman hauls off and slaps a female employee. And all hell breaks loose. Once the moment seems to be defused to some degree, the employees start to head back inside the building as the woman declares, “I was assaulted and have a whole crowd to see it.” The Daily Record reports Springettsbury Township Police were called at 4:26 p.m. to the location. Lt. Tony Beam told the newspaper, from what he could ascertain, “She was upset because her food wasn’t ready. She wanted her money refunded.” Beam went on to say that the customer was gone by the time officers arrived at the restaurant, but they spoke with her at a ‘nearby location.’ No charges have been filed in regard to the incident. Due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, patrons weren’t allowed inside the restaurant, only employees. Pick-up orders were to be brought out to customers on the sidewalk. One commenter on the YouTube page said a friend was there and all the orders were placed and pre-paid either through GrubHub or the Red Lobster app. While there was an hours-long backlog, customers who wanted a refund apparently had to make those requests using the apps as local staff wasn’t hooked up to do refunds. I’ve worked in the service industry, and it seems apparent from the unified front of the restaurant employees throughout the video, the woman must have been putting up quite stink inside. Plus, if she’s ordering Mother’s Day dinner from Red Lobster, she’s got bigger problems.

Nicole Bott, director of communications for Red Lobster, provided this statement regarding Sunday’s incident:

“We understand that we may have disappointed some of our guests on Mother’s Day when due to COVID-19 and changes to our operations and staffing, we were not able to keep up with the demand at some of our locations. We apologize that some of our guests experienced long wait times, crowds, and in some cases, did not receive their orders.

“It is always our goal to provide our guests with a great seafood experience, and unfortunately, for some guests, we did not meet that goal on Sunday. We are working to better understand what occurred and how we can prevent it occurring in the future.

“That said, we do not tolerate violence for any reason in our restaurants. We expect our team members treat our guests with respect, and we expect our guests to treat our team members with respect in return. We are grateful our Manager and the guest involved were not seriously injured in the incident on Sunday.”

(h/t JoeMyGod)