Stormy Daniels Goes There About Trump’s Junk In New Memoir

Porn star Stormy Daniels disses Donald Trump’s bedroom abilities in her new memoir, Full Disclosure.

The Guardian received an advance copy and shares this anecdote about the Trumpster’s now infamous Lake Tahoe tryst with Daniels.

Trump’s bodyguard invites Daniels to dinner, which turns out to be an invitation to Trump’s penthouse, she writes, in a description of alleged events that Daniels has disclosed previously but which in the book are rendered with new and lurid detail. She describes Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small.”

“He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool…

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart…”

“It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

Daniels also writes that when she would see the reality show host on television during the years since the encounter, the memory of her sexual encounter with Trump did not grow fonder.

In fact, she describes her internal monologue as, “‘I had sex with that,’ I’d say to myself. Eech.”

Mario Kart” and “Toad” instantly began trending on Twitter after The Guardian’s piece hit the internet.

Trump has denied the sexual encounter ever occurred although his former personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid Daniels $130,000 in ‘hush money’ just weeks before the 2016 presidential election.

Cohen has since pleaded guilty to multiple felony charges.

Trump Bestie Tom Brady Bails On Patriots’ White House Visit

Today, New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady issued a statement announcing that “In light of recent developments,” he will not be able to attend the White House visit with teammates today.

“I am so happy and excited that our team is being honored at the White House today. Our team has accomplished something very special that we are all proud of and will be for years to come. Thank you to the President for hosting this honorary celebration and for supporting our team for as long as I can remember. In light of some recent developments, I am unable to attend today’s celebration, as I am attending to some personal family matters. Hopefully, if we accomplish the goal of winning a championship in the future years, we will back on the South Lawn soon. Have a great day!”

Brady’s wife, Gisele Bündchen, has denied the Donald’s repeated statements that she and hubby are Trump supporters.

Six other Patriots players have announced they will be skipping the White House visit.