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Learning To Check In, Call Out Our Own Subtle Racism

Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey (screen capture)
  With so much turmoil in the nation right now, many people are asking “How can I help? How can I be part of the solution?” But the social terrain can be scary. Even folks who consider themselves ‘good guys’  – on the side of equal rights and justice – question are they ‘doing it right?’ On Tuesday this week, one trend was to take part in ‘Blackout Tuesday’ in order to show you stand in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. But some folks got backlash here and there with comments saying, “Don’t do it like that – resist like THIS.” Even with the best of intentions, folks who want to support the movement are confused. As a Flashback Friday post, we wanted to share this video from psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey. Back in 2015, he shared how an awkward moment in his own life helped him learn to ‘check himself’ even when he knew in his head he was an ally. “Growing up gay and feeling like an outlier for most of my life easily lends itself to greater empathy for others who’ve felt the same,” wrote Dempsey when he first shared the video in 2015. “My experience also lends itself to the illusion that I couldn’t possibly continue discriminating against others, including people of color. Watch my latest video on how I own racism in an effort to heal.” “As a gay man, I have this real value set in wanting to eradicate discrimination across the board,” says Dempsey in the video. “The only way that I know that I can really do that most effectively is by being able to check in with myself and seeing what’s going on here first.” As an example, Dempsey shares how many gay men grow up exposed to homophobic beliefs and how they can become a part of our subconscious. Those thoughts can color how we see ourselves and the LGBTQ community as a whole. But when we’re aware that it’s there, we can call it out. Being raised in a society where racist beliefs do exist, we are exposed to them whether we want to be or not. Dempsey says when we check in with ourselves about even the most subtle aspects of racism, then we can call it out and own it. Dempsey references the 2015 film Stonewall which created a fictional white male character as a principal in the storytelling when history knows the Stonewall protests were led by the trans community and gay people of color. As many pointed out at the time, that was subtle racism in overshadowing the historical figures with a white, gay man. He also mentions the issue of fetishizing the idea of having sex with ‘dominate’ black men, another form of racism. Before we get to the video clip, we know today is not five years ago. And life at this moment in time is sensitive in regard to each and every word people utter when speaking about race relations. In sharing this, I ask that you watch the video in its entirety to get to Dempsey’s point. I reached out to Dempsey to see if he had any followup to his 2015 commentary. He sent this update:

“This message I put out there 5 years ago is a perfect example of how acknowledging White privilege is inherently imperfect and wrought with blind spots for us to call out and change. The most cringe-worthy moment as I rewatch now is when I suggest it’s OK to have racial preferences for dating and sex because clearly, that’s some racist bullshit tbh. I know better. Now I can do better. And this is how I stand for BIPOC and Black Lives Matter.”

One more thing: please do not have a knee-jerk reaction to the title of Dempsey’s video. The title makes a point, so watch the video to get to ‘the point.’

#BlackLivesMatter

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News Round-Up: June 4, 2020

DJ Thiago Oliveira (via Instagram)
Some news items you might have missed: • InstaHunks: DJ Thiago Oliveira (above) getting in some straight-up social distancing at the beach in Spain. Follow the ‘Daddy Wolf’ on Instagram here. • NBC News: The Trump administration submitted a brief to the Supreme Court on Wednesday arguing that a taxpayer-funded organization should be able to refuse to work with same-sex couples and others whom the group considers to be in violation of its religious beliefs. • Out Music: Trey Pearson, who first found fame fronting the Christian rock band Everyday Sunday, channels LGBTQ Pride’s history of protest in his latest music video, “1984.” Pearson, who came out as gay four years ago, called the song “a love letter sent to us from the LGBT community of the ’80s” to inspire people in a time of crisis and uprising.

• Washington Post: Donald Trump’s former chief of staff John F. Kelly defended former defense secretary Jim Mattis on Thursday over Mattis’s criticism of the president’s handling of nationwide protests. Kelly also dismissed Trump’s assertion that the president fired the retired general in 2018. “The president did not fire him. He did not ask for his resignation. The president has clearly forgotten how it actually happened or is confused.” • Out: Following fellow gay dating app Grindr, Jack’d and Scruff have announced they will disable their ethnicity filters in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. “We stand in solidarity with the fight against systemic racism and historic oppression of the Black community.” • Lincoln Project: The conservative anti-Trump PAC drops this new campaign ad writing, “Trump is no longer hiding that he’s a brazen authoritarian, so desiring of control and power that he’s willing to turn our once peaceful cities into #warzones.

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LA Pride Announces Solidarity March With Black Lives Matter Movement

The previously canceled LA Pride parade will march after all. The organizers, Christopher Street West, announced in early May the annual parade and Pride festival would not take place this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. But half a century after the first Pride parade recognized the Stonewall riots, the LGBTQ community will march on June 14 in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. “In 1970, we gathered on Hollywood Boulevard to protest police brutality and oppression to our community,” said Estevan Montemayor, the organization’s president. “We will do that again this year, where it began, in solidarity with Black Lives Matter.” Montemayor called for “all community members who believe that we must root out this racial injustice and stand in solidarity with the black community and fight for real reform and change in this country on all levels of government to join us in this peaceful protest, in this march for justice.” “It is our moral imperative to honor the legacy of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, who bravely led the Stonewall uprising, by standing in solidarity with the Black community against systemic racism and joining the fight for meaningful and long-lasting reform,” he added. A peaceful protest march in response to racial injustice is planned for Sunday, June 14. It will begin at 10 a.m. at the intersection of Hollywood and Highland boulevards and proceed to West Hollywood, where the parade normally takes place, ending at Santa Monica and San Vicente boulevards. The California Department of Public Health recommends that participants engaging in the march should wear face coverings at all times. Additionally, Los Angeles will celebrate its first-ever virtual Pride Parade. The primetime 90-minute special will air on ABC7, Saturday, June 13 (7:30 – 9:00 p.m. PDT), with an encore presentation on Sunday, June 14, 2020, at 2:00 pm PDT.

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To our LA Pride family: While we had previously cancelled all in-person events due to COVID-19, we have decided to peacefully assemble a protest in Hollywood, where the first ever permitted Pride Parade took place, in solidarity with the Black community. 50 years ago, Christopher Street West (CSW) took to the streets of Hollywood Boulevard to peacefully protest against police brutality and oppression. We feel that it is our moral imperative to honor the legacies of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, who bravely led the Stonewall uprising, by standing in solidarity with the Black community against systemic racism and joining the fight for meaningful and long-lasting reform. The California Department of Public Health recommends that participants engaging in the march should wear face coverings at all times. WHEN: Sunday, June 14, 2020 at 10am PT WHERE: Hollywood Blvd. and Highland Ave. Hollywood, CA 90028 Together With Pride, LA Pride

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The reversal comes about in light of the recent protests taking place across the country after video footage of white Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin kneeling on the neck of George Floyd, an unarmed black man, went viral. Kneeling on his neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds, Chauvin continued pressing his knee on Floyd’s neck for three minutes even after he lost consciousness. Bystanders begged the officer to check his pulse. Chauvin did not. Chauvin was eventually charged with third-degree murder and manslaughter, and yesterday those charges were upgraded to second-degree murder. The three other police officers – Thomas Lane and J. Alexander Kueng, who helped restrain Floyd, and Tou Thao, who stood near the others – are now charged with aiding and abetting second-degree murder and aiding and abetting second-degree manslaughter. Two autopsies on Floyd have determined that he died by homicide.

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Will COVID-19 Halt The Love Scenes & Ball Sequences on POSE?

L-R Dyllon Burnside, Billy Porter (screen capture)
As Pride Month 2020 has begun amid ongoing concerns for dealing with the COVID-19 health threat, this certainly would be a good time to serve up a new season of the critically-acclaimed FX series Pose. But alas, while the first two seasons of the diverse, queer-themed series premiered in time for Pride, this year we are without our fix of ballroom fierceness as production was shut down early in the coronavirus pandemic. Series star Indya Moore, who plays aspiring model ‘Angel Evangelista,’ recently told Variety, “When production paused, I wasn’t shocked — I knew it would happen — but it was a bittersweet moment for me.” “On the one hand, if anyone had gotten sick, it surely would have spread fast,” they added. “On the other hand, most folks working on a production are living paycheck to paycheck. So I was worried about how they are going to survive.” Co-creator Steven Canals shared with the venerable Hollywood outlet that the show will definitely return – it was renewed for Season 3 after just one episode of the second season had aired – but how the storytelling is handled may shift.

“Things like kissing — we will likely forgo those moments,” said Canals. “The place on our show where the biggest impact will be felt will be the ball scenes,” he added referring to the massive number of background actors featured in the dance sequences. “Those scenes have 125 to 150 background actors,” explained Canals. “That’s tricky because that’s such an important and critical part of our show and the narrative. We’re just, only now, having conversations of ‘Is there a world where we forgo these things?’”

Canals shares that the entire season hadn’t been fully scripted yet when the production shut down. “I haven’t had anybody reach out asking for those scripts,” said Canals. “It’s all been about family and really caring for each other’s well-being.” But Canals does guarantee there will be another season of Pose, and one that will put the powerful LGBTQ politics of the series “upfront and center,” where they always have been. “So in terms of the narrative of Season 3 and the way we’re moving forward, I think it will inherently address what’s happening currently with COVID-19,” adds the openly queer screenwriter. “All of that was already baked into the DNA of the show.” It’s hard to imagine the series without the now-iconic ballroom scenes depicting so much LGBTQ tribal pride. Or groundbreaking love scenes between Emmy Award-winner Billy Porter’s ‘Pray Tell’ and Dyllon Burnside’s ‘Ricky Evangelista.’ But trust and believe, the creative powers that brought us the most diverse LGBTQ cast of actors and writers will find a way. Season 1 of Pose is currently available on Netflix with Season 2 joining the lineup on the streaming platform on June 11.

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Witness: Ahmaud Arbery’s Accused Killer Used Racial Slur Following Shooting

L-R Gregory McMichael and his son Travis McMichael and William “Roddie” Bryan (Glynn County Sheriff)
The man who recorded the shooting death of Ahmaud Arbery, 25, in Georgia told investigators the man who killed Arbery used a racial slur right after the shooting. From NBC News:

The white Georgia man accused of killing an unarmed black man, Ahmaud Arbery, used a racial slur after the fatal shooting, according to another suspect’s account to an investigator.

The allegation was revealed as the prosecution presented its case at a preliminary hearing on Thursday morning for defendants Gregory McMichael, 64, his son Travis McMichael, 34, and their neighbor William “Roddie” Bryan, 50.

The defense, which was to follow the prosecution at the hearing, has yet to respond to the allegation of the slur.

Special agent Richard Dial with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said during the hearing that Bryan said that he heard Travis McMichael say, “f—ing N-word” after Arbery had been shot.

Attorneys for the McMichaels say Arbery’s death is a tragedy, “but that does not mean a crime has been committed.”

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Fox News Poll Shows Biden 9+ Over Trump In Wisconsin

The Wisconsin Supreme Court has cleared the way for a state ban on the harmful practice of conversion therapy

As I’ve pointed out in the past, while national polls may provide a snapshot of the mood of the American electorate, it’s polling in about seven swing states (Wisconsin, Michigan, Florida, Arizona, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Minnesota) that you would want to keep an eye on. A new Fox News poll shows former Vice President Joe Biden leading Donald Trump by 9 points in the vital swing state of Wisconsin.

Majorities of Wisconsin voters rate the economy negatively and are concerned about coronavirus. That helps explain Democrat Joe Biden’s gains in the presidential race, in a Fox News Poll of Wisconsin registered voters released Wednesday.

Biden has a 9-point edge over President Donald Trump, 49-40 percent. That’s up from a 5-point advantage in January, and is outside the poll’s margin of sampling error. Another 11 percent are uncommitted.

A big reason Trump trails Biden is lack of party support: 85 percent of Republicans back him, while 93 percent of Democrats support Biden. Eight percent of Republicans defect to Biden. In addition, only 87 percent of those who approve of Trump’s job performance support his reelection.

Biden leads Trump by 14 points on job handling of the coronavirus health threat and 22 points on race relations. Only 22 percent view the economy in a positive light, while 76 percent rate it as fair or poor. Biden’s favorable rating (52 percent) is 8 points higher than his unfavorable (44 percent). Trump, however, is upside down by 12 points (43 favorable, 55 unfavorable). Trump’s strongest backing comes from (no surprise here) white men without a college degree (+19 points), white evangelical Christians (+29), and self-described very conservatives (+81). But Biden scores stronger support among women (+20 points), suburban voters (+14), and independents (+8). Of those voters who describe themselves as ‘extremely interested’ in the upcoming election, Biden holds a 15 point lead over Trump (55-40 percent). Also – there are more Biden supporters who say they are ‘extremely motivated’ to vote in the upcoming election (71 percent) than Trump supporters (63 percent) who say the same.

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More Arrests In George Floyd Killing, Officials Upgrade Derek Chauvin’s Murder Charge

George Floyd under the knee of former police officer Derek Chauvin (screen capture)
Derek Chauvin, the former Minneapolis police officer who held his knee on an unarmed Black man’s neck until he lost consciousness, has had his murder charge upgraded. The other three fired officers who were present at the incident have now been charged as well. From the New York Times:

Minnesota officials charged three more former police officers on Wednesday in the death of George Floyd, and added a higher charge to those already lodged against the former officer who pressed his knee to Mr. Floyd’s neck for nearly nine minutes.

Keith Ellison, the attorney general of Minnesota, announced the charges at a news conference Wednesday afternoon.

The three officers, Thomas Lane, 37, J. Alexander Kueng, 26, and Tou Thao, 34, were charged with aiding and abetting murder, court records show. Mr. Kueng was in custody on Wednesday, county jail records showed. The authorities said they were in the process of arresting Mr. Lane and Mr. Thao.

The fourth officer, Derek Chauvin, 44, who was arrested last week, faces an increased charge of second-degree murder.

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Former Defense Secy Calls Trump Out For Dividing The Nation

Ret. General James Mattis (photo: Defense Dept)
Since his resignation as Defense Secretary in December 2018, James Mattis has remained silent regarding Donald Trump’s performance as president. Mattis resigned as secretary of defense after the Trump administration announced a withdrawal of troops from Syria, citing differing views with the administration. But in an extraordinary statement, the decorated Marine general expresses his support for those protesting, calls out Trump for dividing the nation, and denounces the ordering of uniformed military to ‘dominate’ American citizens. Via The Atlantic:

Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people—does not even pretend to try. Instead, he tries to divide us. We are witnessing the consequences of three years of this deliberate effort. We are witnessing the consequences of three years without mature leadership.

We can unite without him, drawing on the strengths inherent in our civil society. This will not be easy, as the past few days have shown, but we owe it to our fellow citizens; to past generations that bled to defend our promise; and to our children.

[snip]

We know that we are better than the abuse of executive authority that we witnessed in Lafayette Park. We must reject and hold accountable those in office who would make a mockery of our Constitution. At the same time, we must remember Lincoln’s “better angels,” and listen to them, as we work to unite.

Only by adopting a new path—which means, in truth, returning to the original path of our founding ideals—will we again be a country admired and respected at home and abroad.

The full essay is well worth the read.

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Gay HS Senior Barred From Walking In Graduation For Wearing Pants

A queer high school senior in South Carolina wasn’t allowed to walk in her own graduation because – wait for it – she wore pants. While a lot of graduation ceremonies became virtual events due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Lamar High School in Darlington County managed to hold its 2020 event in the open air on the football field Tuesday afternoon. But when Dynasia Clark, who’s openly lesbian, arrived at wearing pants – her attire of choice – she was informed she was in violation of the dress code (which requires women to wear a dress during the ceremony) and wouldn’t be allowed to take part. It’s worth noting that all of those taking part in the ceremony were wearing graduation gowns. So, no one could really see what Clark was wearing underneath. With just minutes before the ceremony was to begin, Clark walked off the field.

(screen capture via WPDE)
Speaking to the local ABC News affiliate WPDE, Clark said, “I was angry more than anything because we worked hard to even have a graduation, and then I can’t walk because I don’t got on a dress.” She also shared that, after four years of being out while attending the school, “They already know how I am, they already know I’m not going to wear a dress.” But she didn’t leave the event. Standing outside the venue gates, she waited to hear her name called as the students walked across the stage to accept their diplomas. However, the school decided to delete her name from the list of graduates’ names read. Clark was, understandably, stunned. “That was the part that made me more mad than anything because, even if I couldn’t walk, I was there,” explained the teen. “You could have still called my name.” “It seems crazy to me,” she added. “It seems stupid, like petty, because it was just an outfit to me.” The Darlington County School District sent this statement to WPDE:

“The Lamar High School dress code for graduation has been in place for more than 20 years. We welcome students or parents who have concerns with any policy or procedure to meet with administration and discuss those concerns. In the past, when a student raised concern with the administration about the dress code prior to graduation day, the issue was addressed.”

Still, Clark’s disappointment was palpable as she told reporter Carlos Flores, “It shouldn’t have stopped me from doing something that I have been waiting on for 12 years. I went to school. Everybody be happy for their graduation day and I couldn’t even experience that.” You can watch WPDE’s report here.