There’s something very moving about honest discussions between parents and their children.
From GLEE last night. As a gay man, what resonates about this scene isn’t about being gay. It’s about a father stepping up and having a really uncomfortable conversation with his son. A father who actually FATHERS a son.
I never had this conversation with my father. In any form. But I have a great amount of confidence that had my “old-world” father been born a little later – my dad would have been something like this.
I’m lucky to have known my father, to know I could say I loved him and to hear him say he loved me. He looked forward to meeting Michael, my husband. He even made us laugh when he met Michael. The first thing my father ever said to Michael was “You must be Michael. Hey – you’re good looking.” How do you not love that and feel good about where you come from?
Every situation isn’t that Disney-wonderful and supportive. Speaking from a different personal perspective, I’ve been with my husband for over 16 years. Legally married for over 7. But his father has never spoken to me, and his father has never shown any interest in speaking to or meeting me. That’s not a judgement. It’s just the facts. (To be clear: The parents needed “time to adjust” to my husband’s coming out, so I didn’t push myself into their lives out of respect. I guess I never thought it would take 16 years to adjust…) Anyway – clearly there’s a big chasm out there in terms of fathers, sons and communication.
I’m not a father. But I am a son. So I get half of this equation. And maybe I get a few points for knowing how much I love my god-son, for whom I have a great amount of respect, love and pride.
What would this world be like if all fathers really took the time and thought to have this conversation without judgement? What if….? Just the idea is amazing.
I think this is really amazing.