Michael Henry: Which Is A Bigger Turn On – Confidence Or Vulnerability?

Funny/smart guy Michael Henry
Funny/smart guy Michael Henry
Michael Henry (screen capture)

During a perfectly socially-distanced afternoon in the park, funny guy Michael Henry has a question for John Hartman about the men he’s attracted to.

Before Henry can get to the question, though, we find out Hartman has an ‘issue’ with oversharing on a range of topics including erectile dysfunction, never tipping bartenders, and flatulence in libraries.


Henry is specifically curious to know if men’s confidence is a turn on for Hartman.

“The reason why I ask is because a good friend of mine told me his number one turn-on when it comes to men is confidence,” explains Henry. “And I thought, ’No, no, no, no, no, no.’”

But Hartman lands on the other side of this spectrum: “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, dummy. Who doesn’t love a confident man?”

Apparently, not Henry. Which leads Hartman to flip the script and ask, “What do you like then? Insecure, emotionally damaged men…like you?”


The discussion quickly turns into a pros and cons comparison of confidence vs. vulnerability. Henry finds men who are sure of themselves in work and life just fine, but really digs guys who are insecure about those things, too.

John Hartman
John Hartman (screen capture)

“Weirdo – I don’t want to hear about his insecurities,” says Hartman. “Don’t tell me you’re uncomfortable with your bald spot or your weight gain. Own it!”

“Nothing makes my d*ck more limp than a guy whining about his misfortunes,” he adds.

Hartman admits he’s drawn to a more stereotypic kind of guy as he rattles off qualities like “assertive,” “sturdy,” an achiever of “big things” with a deep voice, a beard and a three-piece suit…although now the conversation is more about masculinity and not confidence.

Obviously, attraction is more than a simple ‘this’ or ‘that’ equation. But Henry raises a valid question about how and what gay men find to be a turn-on.

I have to admit I’ve said for years confidence (not cockiness) is a definite turn-on for me.

Let me know in the comment section, readers – where does confidence land on your dating spectrum?

You can find more coverage of Michael Henry’s short queries on queer life here.

Is There Pride Or Shame In The PDA Game?

L-R Michael Henry, Chris Renfro, Michael Fariss

Funnyman Michael Henry’s latest video takes a dive into the sometimes divisive discussion of public displays of affection (PDAs) among the gays.

Chris Renfro brings up the topic while hanging out (with perfect social distancing btw) with Henry and Michael Fariss.

After some initial confusion on Henry’s part, he’s happy to extol the virtues of public affection: “I love it! Hugs and kisses!”

“It’s gross and it’s showy,” says Fariss.

Renfro agrees chiming in, “Yeah, I don’t need to see someone sucking face or holding hands at a Jamba.”

But when Henry shares that he’s gone so far as having actual “sex” in front of people, our naysayers are totally down with THAT.

“Oh, I’m ok with public sex,” agrees Fariss which seems to short-circuit Henry.

So, holding hands is bad, but performing oral sex in public is cool?

Apparently, these guys view holding hands or a public peck as “inappropriate,” “desperate,” and “phony.”

Says Renfro, “That kind of behavior is for private.”

After running down a series of scenarios that are either full-on womp-womp or merely affectionate, Henry shares that he likes letting the world know “this is my guy.”

“But WHY do you have to let everyone know?” Fariss asks.

“I don’t have an answer for you,” adds Renfro. “I just know that when a man holds my hand – it makes me uncomfortable. When I see a couple making out in front of me at the store – I’m uncomfortable.”

Like all of his videos, Henry brings up some great questions regarding how the LGBTQ community views itself.

One commenter on the YouTube page writes, “‘Public sex is okay but PDA isn’t’ is just a sign of the gay community being overly sexualized but not being okay with love and feeling something in a relationship.”

Another responded, “Because we grew up seeing us represented only in adult entertainment.”

What do you think readers? Is this a generational issue? Is it a safety issue?

Is there pride or shame in the PDA game?

Who likes holding hands in public? Who can’t handle it?

Let us know in the comment section below.

Gus Kenworthy: Gay Culture 101

Life in the Twitters.

Gus Kenworthy commented on a video posted on Twitter by YouTube star Tyler Oakley where a hot guy in the subway riffed on the current “Finish the lyric…” trend.

Said Kenworthy, “‘Oh damn he cute’ and then I realized that I’ve hooked up with him and if that is not gay culture I don’t know what is…”


(h/t kenneth-in-the-212)